Monday, May 21, 2018

Quote of the Week - Week of May 13






A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.



The 100 -
1. Murphy: “And they call me the Cockroach.” (Marko)



Agents of SHIELD -
1. Phil Coulson: “Here's to us! Who's like us? Damn few!” (Donna)



The Americans -
1. Philip: “Wait. This came in while you were out. Father Andre.” Elizabeth: “I can't. You meet him. Maybe he'll give you absolution.” (DarkUFO)
2. Philip: “You've always done exactly what they've told us to do. I was trying to get you to think. Yes. To ask questions. To be a human being about us.” Elizabeth: “You don't think I'm a human being?!” Philip: “That's not what I'm saying. I would do anything for you. I always did. I just did. But not anymore. You do whatever you want, but please, some of these things? We believed in something so big. They tell us what to do and we do it, I get it, that's how it works. But we do it, not them, so it's on us. All of it.” (DarkUFO)
3. Elizabeth: “I won't do it.” Claudia: “I can't make you do anything. But, Elizabeth, keep quiet. After all these years serving your country, don't throw it all away now.” (DarkUFO)



Fear the Walking Dead -
1. John: “Soup is the blanket of food.” Naomi: “What?” John: “Yeah, it's been a while since I had company.” (DarkUFO)
2. Naomi: “How'd you know I was a nurse?” John: “Well, I don't know of too many people who can stick a needle in their side.” (DarkUFO)
3. Naomi: “Why'd you move up here?” John: “Those people thought I was a hero.” Naomi: “Doesn't matter how many people say it's not your fault, the only thing that matters is if you believe it.” (DarkUFO)



Grey’s Anatomy -
1. Meredith: “Andrew!” Andrew: “What?” Meredith: “That is not what I meant.” Andrew: “It's not?” Meredith: “No, this is not a seduction.” Andrew: “Oh God, I'm so sorry. Am I fired?” Meredith: “No, I'm flattered.” (Sam)
2. Zola: "I don't think life is like candy. You can't be too greedy for it and you can't fill up on it." (Marko)



Legion -
1. Faruk: “Remove your mask. Show them your face. You could be beautiful.” (Milo)
2. David: “I’m not like you, I don’t hide behind masks.” (Milo)
3. Faruk: “Everyone hides behind a mask.” (Milo)



Once Upon a Time -
1. Rumple: "You don't do the right thing for a reward. You do it because it's right." (Prpleight)



Timeless -
1. Ms. Tubman: “My only desire is to live free. The rest will work itself out.” ~Christine Horn was wonderful as Ms. Tubman.
2. Rufus to the Southern lady of the house: “I quit, by the way!”
3. Emma: “Screw bloodlines and all of that family, birthright monarchy cr**! What are we, British?” ~I love Emma even though she’s Rittenhouse.



Westworld -
1. Lawrence's Daughter/Ford: “You still don’t understand the real game we’re playing here - if you’re looking forward, you’re looking in the wrong direction.” (Milo)




About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Quote of the Week - Week of April 29





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.



The 100 -
1. Octavia: “You are Wonkru or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose.” (Marine)



The Americans -
1. Stan: “Don't ever buy your car from Pennysaver. It's not a completely reputable bunch.” (DarkUFO)
2. Philip: “We should talk because it's better not to let bad feelings fester.” Elizabeth: “You can take your forum bullsh** and shove it up your a**. One of us is in trouble, Philip. I'm going there to help him. Someone who still does his job. Someone who still gives a sh**.” (DarkUFO)



Elementary -
1. Sherlock Holmes: "You know I was recently reminded of our fleeting mortality so I was wondering if you were approaching a point." (Milo)



The Flash -
1. Clifford DeVoe: "You made a vow." Marlize DeVoe: "To my husband. But my husband is dead, The Thinker's first victim." (Naomi)
2. Marlize DeVoe: "Oh Clifford, you are nothing without me." (Naomi)



Grey’s Anatomy -
1. Helen Karev (to her son, Alex): "My sweetest boy. My truest love." (Sam)



Killing Eve -
1. Villanelle, after she deliberately backs over her former lover and rival assassin: "Oops." (Donna)



Last Man on Earth -
1. Carol Pilbasian: "Ever since I was a kid I had a fear of being scared." (Sam)



Once Upon a Time -
1. Henry: “It's not Henry, it's Dad.” (Marko)




The Terror -
1. Francis: “The sacrifice you men are making is worth great reward.” (DarkUFO)
2. Francis: “Friend. Mother. Lover. All the things they say a ship is to a captain, and they miss what really matters. Confessor. This ship knows everything about me, Thomas.” (DarkUFO)



Westworld -
1. Dolores Abernathy: “I used to see the beauty in this world, but now I see the truth." (Milo)
2. Wyatt: “You're right. We have toiled in God's service long enough, so I killed him. And if you want to get to Glory, you won't do it in his favor. You'll need mine.” (DarkUFO)
3. Guest: “You have no idea what you're up against, what is really out there.” Wyatt: “I know exactly what is out there in your world. I've been in your world.” (DarkUFO)
4. Logan: “Do you want to know what they're really celebrating up there? That darlin' is the sound of fools fiddling while the whole f*** species starts to burn. And the funniest f*** part? They lit the match. So here's to you, a***. May your forever be blissfully short.” (DarkUFO)
5. Arnold: “You and Charlie have quite a lot in common, you know. You both see it so clearly. The beauty of it, the possibility of it. So many people have stopped seeing it altogether. The wonder.” Dolores: “Maybe they don't have the courage. A strange new light can be just as frightening as the dark.” Arnold: “That's very wise, Dolores, but sometimes I think we're simply not the ones who deserve it.” Dolores: “It looks like the stars have been scattered across the ground. Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?” (Laura)
6. Lawrence: “He was dead, or at least the better part of it.” Bill: “Well, dead isn't what it used to be, Lawrence.” (Laura)
7. Teddy: “Glory, the valley beyond. Seems like everyone's got a different name for it, but they're all bound for the same destination.” Wyatt: “It doesn't matter what you call it. I know what we're going to find there. An old friend was foolish enough to show me long ago. It's not a place. It's a weapon. And I'm gonna use it to destroy them.” (Laura)



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."


Thursday, May 3, 2018

Throwback Thursday - Criminal Minds - 1.14 - Riding the Lightning





Note - I like procedurals. I like the format and the characters and the fact that I can binge them one after another while simultaneously getting other things done. However, I understand why they are not popular with some, especially the criticism that the episodes start running together after a while. It’s true. Procedurals can become repetitive, which is why the episodes that stand out make such an impression on me. Of the hundreds of crime procedural case-of-the-week episodes I’ve watched, one of my favorites came in the middle of Criminal Minds’ first season. I’d seen random episodes of the show before, but it is Riding the Lightning that made Criminal Minds must-watch TV for me and started my summer-long binge. Although Throw Back Thursday is generally reserved for shows that have ended, this episode aired in 2006 – well older than many shows currently eligible.


The episode begins in a fairly typical way. The team heads to Florida to interview a husband and wife serial killing team about to die by electric chair. Jacob, the husband, is your typical psychopath. He’s narcissistic, arrogant, and completely uncaring about anyone except for how much he can control them. He was convicted of killing and dismembering at least 12 girls and burying them under his floorboards and at construction sites he worked on. His wife, Sarah Jean, is not what is expected though. She’s polite, quiet, and can size up a situation quickly. She also admitted to killing her 2-year-old son and Jacob testified that she helped lure his victims to their deaths. This dichotomy is pointed out by Reid as well, who claims that she profiled more like a war victim than a psychopath, making her automatically more interesting than Jacob. Therefore, Gideon chooses to interview her while making Hotch the lead with Jacob and sending Derek and Elle out in the field to look at the crime scenes. Derek and Elle also interview Sarah Jean’s mother, who shows them a letter Sarah Jean wrote her, claiming that she had no idea her husband was murdering those girls. When Elle reads the letter to Gideon, Sarah Jean flips out, saying that the letter is private. However, it is enough to convince Gideon that Sarah Jean is innocent of at least the girls’ murders. In fact, evidence shows that Sarah Jean actually called the cops on her husband.


Meanwhile, Hotch is not getting anything out of Jacob so JJ steps in to play to his blonde fantasies. She does a great job of acting younger to spark his interest, but it’s a lie that finally gives Jacob away. Hotch tells him that the governor has given Sarah Jean a stay of execution and he loses it. He cannot stand the thought of losing control over her and is determined that they will die within minutes of each other. In the end, he gives them another body, which leads to a place where Sarah Jean worked as a housekeeper. Convinced by now that their son, Riley, is actually still alive, Gideon has Garcia track down all the abandoned babies from that time period to no avail. Then Gideon remembers the paintings that Sarah Jean was so protective over. He convinces the warden to allow Sarah Jean out in the yard to look at the moon one more time, while he searches the paintings for clues. Taped to the back of one is the picture of a musical prodigy. Now all they have to do is track down the kid and prove that he is Riley before time runs out for Sarah Jean.


It is here that the story does a 180 and goes from being a good story to one that is unforgettable for me. See, Sarah Jean does not want to be saved. It is her choice to die and she begs Gideon to let her take her secret to the grave with her. She’s not seeking attention and she isn’t suicidal. She’s a mother, doing what she feels is best to protect her son. She realizes that if people knew who Riley’s parents really were, he would forever live under the stigma of Jacob’s psychopathic tendencies. Instead of seeing a promising young musician, all people would see is his serial killer father. She doesn’t want that legacy for her son and is willing to pay the ultimate price to give him the life he deserves. Gideon maintains that her son mostly deserves is the truth, but Sarah Jean will not waver so Gideon has the team search for her son without her cooperation. They, of course, succeed but Sarah Jean makes one final plea to Gideon and in the end, he allows the mother to die for the son who doesn’t even know she exists. Instead of focusing on the crime like most episodes, it focuses on what a mother’s love looks like in the most desperate of situations.


What I like about this episode most is how much it made me care. Usually the procedural episodes I enjoy most involve my favorite characters in a huge struggle or ones that see those characters changed by the situation. This is not the case here. Instead, it was the guest character that tugged at my heartstrings and made the biggest impact. Although Sarah Jean was only in one episode, she made a lasting impression on me and the acting between Jeannetta Arnette (Sarah Jean) and Mandy Patinkin (Gideon) was superb. The desperation each character felt to make the other see their side was palpable and their hug at the end is the definition of bittersweet. When Sarah Jean smiles and asks Gideon to be there as she dies, my heart broke for both of them. Then it broke again when tears flooded the warden’s eyes right before he gave the order to execute. Typically, it is hard to get viewers invested in one-off characters, but to this day, Sarah Jean is one of my favorite characters on Criminal Minds. She impacted everyone around her and the writers did a great job of using the Jacob character as a foil. By giving Sarah Jean grace in the hardest of moments, they made a bigger impression on me in 43 minutes than most characters do in multiple episodes or even whole shows.


The direction in this episode is top-notch as well. Chris Long, who started in shows like Gilmore Girls and Charmed and went on to be nominated for an Emmy for The Americans, does a great job especially with his transitions. The most obvious one is when he goes from Gideon watching Sarah Jean die to his being in the audience while Riley is playing his cello. A single tear flows down Gideon’s face while the voice-over quotes Albert Pines. “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.” Long also effectively cuts between Jacob and Sarah Jean’s interviews to greater emphasize their differences. Still my favorite set of cuts is at the end when Sarah Jean is begging Gideon to let it go, let her go, and then it transitions onto the face of Riley’s adopted father. He knows what day it is and he can guess why the FBI has shown up on his doorstep right before Sarah Jean is scheduled to be executed. He’s terrified that his son will learn the truth and then it cuts back to Gideon telling them to stand down. The father’s relief underscores what Sarah Jean has been trying to get across all along. Hers is a secret that could tear that whole family apart.


I also love how the case is not black and white. The only true bad guy is Jacob, but both Sarah Jean and Gideon make good points in their arguments. It brings up questions about how justice is best served and whether the pursuit of truth at all costs is wise. To this day, the ending leaves me unsettled. Is it better for Sarah Jean to die although she is innocent in order to save her son? Is her death in vain? Will the truth still come out, given that they asked the media about Riley? (They have to be curious about why the BAU asks about some random teenager after hearing rumors that the BAU wants a stay of execution.) How much should Riley be told about his birth parents? Is it a case of ignorance being bliss or does he have an innate right, even as a teen, to know all the gory details of his past? It’s episodes like this one, whose moral quandaries stick with me long after the story ends, that keep me coming back to crime procedural shows. It’s characters like Sarah Jean that remind me that it is not how long a character is on the show but the impact they make on the viewer. In the end, this episode is just plain good TV.


Grade: A


Best Quotes:
1. Sarah Jean: “I am standing here because of choices I made. Don’t let my son be Jacob’s last victim. Let me go. Let us both go.”
2. Gideon: “Jacob’s gone. He’s no longer any threat to Riley. Tell me where he is. We can stop this madness.” Sarah Jean: “There is no greater gift in life than that of being a parent, but so many of us abuse and squander that gift.” Gideon: “You can change that right now.” Sarah Jean: “I made my decision 15 years ago. This has never been about Jacob. It’s always been about Riley.” Gideon: “That’s why I can’t let you do this.” Sarah Jean: “This isn’t about you or me.” Gideon: “I know it isn’t. That’s why I’m not going to let Riley lose the greatest gift he never knew he had.” Sarah Jean: “But that is my gift to him and I’ll not let you destroy that.” Sarah Jean: “My son is dead, Agent Gideon…. Why can you not accept the truth?” Gideon: “I can. This isn’t it.” Sarah Jean: “What wouldn’t you do for your son to give him a life you could never hope to dream of? I am at peace in the knowledge that my son is free to be whatever he chooses to be.” Gideon: “If he knew who you were, do you think he would choose to allow you to walk in there?” Sarah Jean: “If he knew who his parents, can you imagine the damage my legacy would leave him?” Gideon: “Can you imagine what he would feel, knowing his mother spent 15 years on death row innocent of all charges, just so he could be free of her?” Sarah Jean: “Not me, Jacob. It isn’t just my life you have in your hands. It’s Riley’s life too. You have the chance to save my son’s life.” Gideon: “I choose to save yours.” Sarah Jean: “My life ended the day I met Jacob.”
3. Sarah Jean: “I used to tell Riley that no matter where we were that we had the moon to be looking down on the both of us.” Warden: “We should head back. Sarah, if there’s something you know that can save you…” Sarah Jean: “Thank you, Warden. This has been wonderful. Your kindness to me, I thank you.”
4. Garcia: “You guys do realize that visiting death row is not part of my job description.”


Episode Awards:
Best Scene – Gideon tries to convince Sarah Jean to stop her own execution
Best Big Moment – Gideon hugs Sarah Jean goodbye before telling Derek to stand down
Best Little Moment – the Warden has tears in his eyes as Sarah Jean dies
Best Acting: Jeannetta Arnette as Sarah Jean
Best Moment: Hotch shows Jacob a picture of teenaged Riley right before he dies and says, “You lose.”



Screencaps by Fanforum, YouTube, Side Reel, Shared, Fanpop, Unsub Mary, and Cinemorgue.



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."



Monday, April 23, 2018

Quote of the Week - Week of April 15





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.




The Americans -
1. Oleg: “One thing I did learn here: they are not crazy. We can make peace with them. Now may be the best chance we can ever get. That's why I am here.” (DarkUFO)
2. Elizabeth: “He loves me, he loves you, but somewhere...something got lost. This work can get to be too much for people. Even the best ones. I'm so proud of you, Paige. Really proud.” (DarkUFO)



Bull -
1. Bull: “Helping this woman will not change the fact that I did nothing to help my own sister.” Marissa: “It’s true. You failed at being God. You are responsible for everyone and everything.” Bull: “Just indulge me. Let me wallow in my own self-pity.” Marissa: “You know what, Jason? Your sister was an adult. She made her own decisions, her own choices about who to be with, and nothing you could have done would have changed that. You loved her and that is really your only obligation as a brother. As for our client, you can only do what you can do. She’s giving you very little to work with. Get some sleep. Tomorrow is gonna come whether we’re ready for it or not.”
2. Bull: “This thing’s gonna go one of two ways. Either it’s all been one big, bad dream and you’re about to become a free woman, in which case I’m gonna take you for a walk because walking is very good for pregnant women. You know, my sister taught me that. Or...if for some reason things don’t...go our way in there...well, you’re not rid of me ‘cause we’re just gonna appeal the living daylights out of this thing. I mean you are gonna be so sick of me.” Kate: “Not possible.” Bull: “You’ll see. I’m very unusual. I’m actually an acquired dislike.”
3. Benny: “Like I said, I’m your guy, but I need you to know that I don’t have a lot to work with and I just don’t want to let you down.”



Criminal Minds -
1. JJ: “Your rational is telling you that and that part’s right. I also know there is a part of you that you don’t show anyone, and that part of you is trying to figure out why did Spencer Reid get out of his prison. You know, when Quinn didn’t. The answer is family, this family, how we fought to get you out of there. The same way we fought to save Prentiss from Mr. Scratch. We fought to save this team from getting shut down. And now, family will help us figure out what we’re missing.”
2. Tara: “Typical cult. You know you think it’s a cast of thousands, when really it’s just 4 wackos sitting around in the dark.”
3. Garcia: “He bought a warehouse on the edge of the district. Not the kind of place I’d go to church, but ideal if human sacrifice is your thing.”



Fear the Walking Dead -
1. Morgan: “I lose people, and then I lose myself.” (Eve)



The Flash -
1. Iris West-Allen: “I remember you asking me what I was willing to do for my husband. How about I show you?”



For the People -
1. Roger Gunn: “People get hurt in these operations. Maybe we could send Seth…” (Luana)
2. Arturo: “It doesn't make sense! 165M/H winds don't make sense. Burying your child doesn't make sense. What happened to my country, to my family, to me, doesn't make sense. It won't. It can't. I know you want this to be all simple and clear, but it isn't. That's not the world I live in. It's ugly and messy and full of terrible choices, and I made some that I wish you could understand, but just looking at you I can tell you can't.” (Luana)



iZombie -
1. Ravi: “Let’s ease into the splattered brain talk next time.” Clive: “Oh, is that where we went wrong? I thought it was when their Scandinavian He-Men boyfriends showed up.”
2. Chase: “Major is the new vice-president of getting stuff done, which means he outranks any of you because...well, he gets stuff done.”
3. Peyton: “You hate warm weather and This Is Us.” Clive: “Yeah, it’s emotionally manipulative. Fine, I’ll go. You’re emotionally manipulative.”



LA to Vegas -
1. Ronnie: “I’m just trying to put my best foot forward.” Bernard: “Honey I get it, but this ain’t your foot. A linguine tour? That’s not you. I mean, look, this whole list is written on an old Taco Bell receipt. A 10:00 am Taco Bell receipt.” Ronnie: “They serve breakfast now, Bernard.”
2. Artem: “You can’t spell party without Arty.”
3. Ronnie: “Jackpot’s official position is ‘You do you. We’ve seen worse.’ “



Lethal Weapon -
1. Judge: “So by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may escort the bride to booking.”
2. Riggs: “Look Molly, Jake’s got himself in some real trouble. You just need to prepare yourself that it’s not gonna end well.” Molly: “Well you just make sure that it ends well for you, okay? Cause as I said I plan on being able to be mad at you for a long time. Months, years.” Riggs: “You may never get over it.” Molly: “I hope not.”
3. Avery: “Roger Murtaugh, in the 20+ years that I’ve known you, the happiest I have ever seen you were the days your children were born.” Roger: “Really?” Avery: “Don’t you think the world will be a better place with another little Murtaugh running around?” Roger: “We do have good genes.”




Living Biblically -
1. Chip: “I’m trying to do the biblical thing by showing my friend hospitality but…” Leslie: “...but I haven’t had privacy for days and frankly Mama likes to air dry. Is that a weird thing to tell a priest?” Gene: “That’s a weird thing to tell anybody.”
2. Vince: “Speaking of One Direction, why don’t you mosey off that way.”
3. Chip: “Come on, you know Jesus would have let Gil stay with him.” Leslie: “Yeah, because there was no Mrs. Jesus to tell him it was a bad idea.”



The Terror -
1. Dr. Stanley: “Fine. Go with the girl. And don't forget to invite us all to the wedding.” Dr. Goodsir: “Has anyone ever invited you to a wedding, Dr. Stanley?” (DarkUFO)
2. Francis: “I'll put a bullet in my head before I drink gin.” (DarkUFO)
3. Francis: “I hope you live long enough to sell your dictionary, Dr. Goodsir. I hope I live long enough to buy it.” (DarkUFO)



Timeless -
1. JKF, after being told that he will be President someday: “President of what?” Lucy: “Of the United States.” JFK: “Was I a good President?” Lucy: “One of the greatest!” (Claire)
2. Agent Christopher to Lucy: "If you were my daughter, I'd be so proud." (Bex)
3. Wyatt: "I’ll see you round the bunker, babydoll." Lucy: "See you round the bunker, sweetheart." (Bex)
3. Jessica: "This time travel stuff really messes with your head." (Bex)



UnREAL -
1. Chet: “You crossed a line.” Quinn: “Suddenly there’s a line?” (Eve)





The Walking Dead -
1. Rick: “Have mercy prevail over my wrath.” (DarkUFO)
2. Rick: “We're not gonna kill you, we're not gonna hurt you. You're gonna rot in a cell.” (DarkUFO)
3. Negan: “We are cleaning house today, Rick!” (DarkUFO)



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Quote of the Week - Week of April 1





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.



The Americans -
1. Stan: “I can't tell you how much better I feel just dealing with murderers, drug dealers, and corrupt politicians. I'm serious.” (DarkUFO)
2. Claudia: “What does she draw?” Elizabeth: “People, faces, I don't know. Kind of strange.” Claudia: “You don't like her work?” Elizabeth: “I don't know why people like her spend their life doing that. At least her husband is doing something.” (DarkUFO)



Black Lightning -
1. Henderson: "Do you trust me?" Lynn: "No. But I know Jefferson does. Now, I have to go set the record for speed interviewing defense lawyers." (Prpleight)



Black-ish:
1. Diane: “Since when do people like mediocre content?” (Marine)





The Blacklist -
1. Samar: “It means that you’ll have to plead guilty to everything. Agree to counseling and the need for rehabilitation. But it also means that you will not be going to an adult prison. If you do the time and stay out of trouble, you could be out by the time you’re 21.” Anna: “21? How? Why would they do this for me?” Samar: “Because for the first time in a long time, someone is going to treat you like what you are - a child.”
2. Red: “To make a hate crime look like a robbery. Now I have indigestion.”
3. Howard: “Press them for details on this guardian angel.” Samar: “We could or we could forget we ever heard of her. Is it so wrong what she’s doing? These are adult men marrying children.” Howard: “It’s murder. That’s all our job description allows us to consider.”



Brooklyn 99 -
1. Holt: “Now is not the time for stories about your digital squash, Perrolta!” (Marine)



Bull -
1. Bull: “You know, I think those two have a future together.” Benny: “Wait a second. Are those tears? You crying, you big old softie?” Bull: “Excuse me. I believe you’re mistaken. These are not tears. Wasn’t it Tom Hanks who famously said, ‘There’s no tears in trial science?’ “ Benny: “No, I believe he was talking about chocolate.”
2. Benny: “Well I can’t speak for you, but Dr. Bull and I are here to talk about dismissal.” Peluso:” Dismissal? Well it’s good to have a dream.”
3. Bull: “Well what’d you get?” Danny: “The motherlode, pretty much. Although I think I did promise to marry the guy who got them for me.” Bull: “Excellent. Who doesn’t love a good wedding?”



Criminal Minds -
1. Matt: “I know you think this is about my fear of change but it’s actually about my commitment to the things that I trust.” Kristy: “Ah okay, you’re the profiler, sweetheart but I think it’s about a better phone.”
2. Kristy: “You’re using the phone.” Matt: “Of course. This is the phone that saved your life.” Kristy: “So you’re saying I was right.”
3. Tara: “You can’t intimidate a federal agent so let’s just stop with the games.”



Gotham -
1. Jervis Tetch: "Must Go! Must Go! They're after me and The Scarecrow!" (Jaz)



Instinct -
1. Dylan: “Espouses and eschewing in one sentence is just showing off.”
2. Lizzie: “Wow, some religions reject Satan. They reject high school.”




LA to Vegas -
1. Ronnie: “Oh man, the only thing worse than working for Jackpot is being fired from Jackpot. I mean, what do you even do after that?” Bernard: “You work for Greyhound.”
2. Alan: “What did I miss?” Bernard: “Just an opportunity to prove your life matters.” Alan: “Wow, my horoscope was dead on this morning.”
3. Bernard: “Don’t lie to me. You reek of citrus and deceit.”



Legends of Tomorrow -
1. Ava: “What are you doing?” Sara: “I’m admitting something that could save us both. I love you.” Ava: “There is no me to love.” (Donna)
2. Ray, as a young Barack Obama runs away from a giant gorilla: "Run, Barry, Run." (Sam)
3. Barack Obama: “Barack is what it says on my birth certificate.” Sara: "Yeah, you might want to hold on to that." (Sam)




MacGyver -
1. Jack: “I think the very definition of unlucky is being in a situation where the only way out of it is to recreate something you saw in a kid’s movie.”
2. Mac: “And you know what, Riley has a good point. Dawn is a professional liar.” Bozer: “Mac, literally everyone we know is a professional liar, you included.” Mac: “Alright, good point.”
3. Bozer: “This can’t be used as a weapon, can it?” Mac: “Not a good one.”



NCIS:LA -
1. Hetty: “Real bravery always starts in the heart.”
2. Sam: “You know there’s no way Hetty’ll let her fire you.” Callen: “She may lose that battle.” Sam: “Then we’ll both be out of a job.”
3. Sam: “Let me guess. She’s being elusive.” Callen: “Hetty and God work in mysterious ways.” Sam: “In Hetty, we trust.”




Roseanne -
1. Roseanne: “All our lives suck, that’s why we put marshmallows on yams.” (Marine)





The Walking Dead -
1. Rick: “Just tell me. Why'd you save me?” Morgan: “Because my son was there.” (DarkUFO)
2. Negan: “My wife's name was Lucille. She got me through. I didn't give her sh**, and she got me through. Just life...regular life. The bat, that got me through this. That's it, nothing more to do with me than that. But it is the last little piece of her that I got left.” (DarkUFO)



Will & Grace -
1. Karen, after kissing Malcolm via Smitty: “I think this is how Mike Pence and his wife do it ; through his personal trainer.” (Claire)
2. Grace: “I should be thanking you for inviting Master Sits and Farts to come and live with us!” (Shirleena)



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she reviews and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, loves live tweeting, and co-hosted The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Previously she wrote a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."