NOTE: If you've come looking for answers, I am fresh out. Baffled is an understatement. This
Previously - Peter was a crazy vengeful loon, Kate burnt down the Hale House, Peter was in a coma, Stiles was a liar, Malia walked out, Granny Banshee drove Meredith insane, CrazyPants Douche Orderly died naming Meredith as Benefactor, and Meredith did NOT die.
In the White Room, Stiles is equally upset as the record player isn't enlightening to non-banshees either. "Come on. There's plenty other things we can be totally useless doing." Ha! He turns it off but Malia still hears sound. No idea why she didn't hear it when they were with Lydia, but whatever. Stiles notices a wire in the wall and yanks the cord through the dry wall. (Mission accomplished - the lake house will live to be a teen rave again as buyers flee the damage.) He and Malia remove the drywall to reveal…a 70's computer. Face palm doesn't do it justice. Guess they built them better back in then; mine become obsolete and stop running after a few years of constant use. Perhaps Science Mom must sell the place because she can't afford the constant electricity bill anymore. Malia's solution is to punch it and to be honest that usually works for her. Sadly Stiles says no because they need to shut it off to ensure the dead pool list is over. That makes zero sense. It's on a trillion pieces of printer paper. No putting that genie back in its bottle. He proposes another cipher key to shut it down, but Malia suggests a real key. Time for Lydia's help. Stiles shows her Granny's room size machines via phone but Lydia's stymied since it has no monitor. Good thing she sees the carpet. Yes, the carpet. Sigh. There's no wine stain anymore. I give Mason a mental high 5 for making good on his promise, but Lydia freaks. Stiles is baffled as well. "What does wine have to do with anything?" Lydia: "Red wine doesn't just disappear." Um, neither does any red liquid on white carpet, not without major effort. Cleaning nightmare in 2 words - Hawaiian Punch. Lydia: "The ashes weren't ashes. The study isn't a study. The record player isn't a record player. So maybe the wine wasn't wine." Say what? And shouldn't you have noticed the missing stain the last time you were there. At least we now know Lydia had the $500 she gave CrazyPants to hire cleaners. Glad she doesn't regularly carry that much cash on her. She sends Stiles on a wine scavenger hunt, which is far less fun than it sounds.
1. Scott will kill someone to save someone, probably Liam.
2. Peter will be revealed to the pack as evil.
3. Someone's life will hang by the balance.
4. The Benefactor stuff isn't really over. The real cliffhanger is yet to fall.
5. We will see Malia's mom.
6. Someone on Team Parent will be awesome, probably Mama McCall. (Yeah, I know that's a given.)
1. Meredith really is evil and provides the real cliffhanger of the season.
2. Peter lives to be the Big Bad in the final season.
3. Kate and Gerard Argent die…for real…forever this time. (This is a longstanding wish list item.)
4. All new freshman and all new blondes get shipped off to Tall Prep Blond's school, even Liam. Yeah I know he got kicked out but hey, second chances.
5. Scott does not have his own DarkStiles theme. It never works when the moral center goes askew.
6. Instead of Kira's Hem Haw Disease, Malia's common sense will rub off on
7. All money woes end as suddenly as they began. In fact, don't even explain how the bills got taken care of. Just make them go away.
8. The season finale feel good scene (you know they always have one) does NOT take place at a rave.
9. Someone actually admits that nothing about the Benefactor made sense and they all just shrug and look forward to next season's baddie. If you're going to screw me over like this, I want some meta to chew on.
10. NO ONE IN THE PACK DIES!!!! Unless it's Liam.
Best Scene - Comatose Peter rants to Loony Meredith, who puts his crazy plan into action
Best Quote - Peter: "Sheriff, not to question the unquestionably sterling reputation of your department, but are you absolutely sure you got the one?"
Best Acting - tie - Meredith / Peter
Best Reason to Watch - ACTION!!!
Most Anticlimactic - Peter wants to kill Scott...still
MVP - non-wine non-stains
Most Improved - Kira
Best Character Interaction - Argent and Satomi
Biggest Mind Screw - tossup between every single thing that happens in this episode, but especially the wacky timeline and computer issues
Biggest Saving Grace - great pairings (Sheriff/Lydia, Satomi/Argent, Mama McCall/Stiles, etc.)
Most in Need of Ending - this whole storyline and the green-tint filter
Screencaps by EW, Geekiary, Teen Wolf Wikia, SpoilerTV, Le Noir Auteur, Parole Pelate, Beacon Hills Pack, and me.