Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Last Week in TV - Week of March 22 - Reviews and Episode Awards

Welcome back to this late version of Last Week in TV. Sorry for not posting yesterday but real life hit back hard this week and I was feeling a bit unmotivated afterwards. It's also why some reviews are so short and why I decided to hold 12 Monkeys off for a special Marathoned Shows section next week. It will join Powers and Community at a minimum. I'm hoping to review a couple of other shows that way too so I won't have so much to catch up on during the summer. (Shameless Plug - I will also be reviewing an episode of Leverage for next week's Throwback Thursday on SpoilerTV. Check it out.) Today's nominated episode was Gotham, which I dropped after 3 episodes this fall. I am still not a fan of the bleakness of the show and I never much liked Batman, but there was much needed improvement in the relationship between Harvey and Gordon. Next week's nominated episode will be The Middle - 6.08. If you would like to nominate, please fill out the form below. Remember there is no need to nominate shows I watch weekly and I will not review a nominated show twice in the same season so Once Upon a Time and others are out for now. Until next week, comments are lovely and happy TV viewing.

Show of the Week:

Backstrom - 1.08 - Give 'Til It Hurts

Backstrom is back and it's as snarky as ever. I laughed the whole way through. I still can't believe that I love this show but it is a tremendous amount of fun. Perhaps it's because Backstrom gets called out on his douchey ways on a regular basis. In this episode, Amy tells him that they aren't getting back together and that he's an alcoholic. He needs to keep getting knocked down a few pegs or he's at risk of becoming Dr. House, where everyone seemed to bend over backwards to excuse his behavior. Again the best part of the episode is the dialogue, which is razor sharp throughout. Also the secondary characters shine, especially Moto who figures out 2 vital clues. Big kudos to Dr. Deb as well for going to extreme lengths to help Backstrom whether he wants it or not. I really like their interactions even if Backstrom was a complete douche for manipulating him with the sobriety chip. All in all, this show works based on its character interactions and they were as spot-on as ever in this episode. Too bad the ratings don't reflect how funny this show can be.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - all the snarky dialogue
Most Fun - Backstrom and Amy tango
Biggest Douche - Backstrom, who cuts in line of a homeless shelter and takes extra food / Backstrom uses Amy's father's sobriety chip to manipulate Dr. Deb
Best Reaction - even Backstrom can't snark when a husband asks them to find his wife's killer as a death bed wish
The "You Clean Up Well" Award- all of them
MVP - Moto, who keeps filling in the missing pieces
Best Plan - sending Niedermayer in to talk to the society women / Backstrom gets a homeless guy to walk his 10,000 steps for him
The "Swing and a Miss" Award - Backstrom tries to kiss Amy and she dashes off
The "I'm with Backstrom" Award - It's not the homeless' fault that the sporting goods mogul is a racist douche. Let them benefit from his scum bag tendencies.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Assaf Cohen from Burn Notice, Heroes, and the worst episode of Supernatural yet / Keegan Connor Tracy, also from Supernatural and Once Upon a Time
Best Quotes -
1. Meredith: "We have nothing more to say." Backstrom: "Really? Why is that? Because the Botox has frozen your face so much."
2. Backstrom: "Wow, more money than God and all you get is experimental medicine and a cr** art project. That's got to sting."
3. Backstrom: "Your cr** lawyer should have advised us that you didn't have access to a car considering you're being accused of committing a hit and run. Argh!" Nate: "I'm a tax lawyer."
4. Backstrom: "Oh right, because that battery-operated vanity toy probably couldn't go fast enough to kill someone."
5. Deb: "Nice to meet you, Detective Gravely, and you have my deepest sympathies." Gravely: "And I feel your pain, Dr. Chaman."

Nominated Show:

Gotham - 1.04 - Arkham

I've always been more of a Spiderman person than a Batman person. There's something far more noble and less depressing in "With great power comes great responsibility" than the revenge-fueled bleakness of Batman. To be honest, I don't see a whole lot of difference between Batman and the people he's killing off, and I have no idea why people are trying to save a town this corrupt. Arrest everyone. Start over. Therefore I knew right from the first episode that the mood and tone of Gotham was going to put it on early hiatus for me. From what I remember, I liked this episode better than the others especially because the mob war didn't require any previous comic knowledge. Two mobsters both want the same land and fight over it. It's like any drug cartel show with the same outcome. Lower level management on both sides is taken out and it ends with the honest citizens losing every time. I did like that the hostility between Gordon and Harvey was more tempered even though they approach things from vastly different scopes. Still Gotham is a show that takes itself far too seriously for the villains to be this campy. Either let the audience in on the fun or make villains we can actually fear. You can't play it both ways. Also some relief from the generally oppressive atmosphere would be nice. At least for me, but as I said, I'm not a Batman fan. That's why this show is still firmly in the middle of my new shows to be marathoned over the summer list. By the way things are shaping up, I should get to it after the TV Apocalypse.

Grade: B-
Ranking - 3
Audience - Batman fans (I think)

Best Reason to Watch - mob politics
Best Character Interaction - Bruce and Gordon
Least Surprising - Cobblepot was behind the restaurant robbery and killed his guys
Worst Way to Make a Business Decision - having people duke it out and the winner gets the job
Best Action - Gordon vs. Gladwell
Smartest Kid - Bruce Wayne, who probably could figure out the connection between his parents and the Arkham murders if he had enough time and data
Worst Way to Die - having gasoline poured on you and then being lit on fire
The "Welcome Back" Award - Hakeem Kae-Kazim from Black Sails
Best Quotes -
1. Bruce: "Everything they worked for is now falling into the hands of criminals." Gordon: "Not everything. You're alive. It's not too late." Bruce: "Do you really believe that? Do you believe Gotham can be saved?" Gordon: "I believe it's worth trying."
2. Fish: "Look at me. I ain't looking for no girl. I'm looking for a weapon."
3. Gladwell: "You know if it were up to me, this would be over quick without all the fuss. My father used to say, 'Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication,' but it's not up to me. My customer specifically asked me to send a message and you know what they say. The customer is always right."
4. Barbara: "I'm not going to live like this. I can't live like this. You're going to have to make a choice, Jim. You either let me in or you let me go."
5. Gladwell: "You know why they hire a professional? Because he finishes the job."

Weekly Shows:

Battle Creek - 1.04 - Heirlooms

Battle Creek went more police procedural and less hilarious odd couple cop buddy show this week and it suffered a little because of it. The episode didn't keep my attention as much and I laughed less. Part of it is that Russ' insistence on digging up dirt on Milt to make himself feel better feels increasingly childish as is his reluctance to use the resources Milt has. Jealousy is never a good look on anyone. Still this is one of the funniest cop shows hands down even in this episode. I loved how Russ and Milt kept lying to each other in increasingly pathetic sob stories. Even better is the fact that neither believed any of it.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - Russ and Milt out-lying each other
Best Reason to Fast Forward - Russ' insistence that Milt's back story is his business
Best Point - Fontanelle tells Russ that Milt has no reason to confide in him
Most Fun - running from the dog via trampoline, although the big finish looked a bit painful
Best Visual - the 3 Battle Creek crew standing with guns pointed when the rich siblings flee
Biggest Tall Tale - Russ creates a sad story about his parents' divorce to make Milt confide in him
Best Lie Detector - Milt knows he's lying and confesses nothing
Biggest Hmmm - What's up with Battle Creek and kids involved with crimes?
Biggest Stalker - Russ keeps asking about Holly and questioning where she is
Least Surprising - the will is the reason the waitress died
Best Surprise (for the characters) - the kid is now worth $42 million
Best Surprise (story) - Holly going for her law degree
Best Quotes -
1. Eleanor Whitehall: "He died of a heart attack 2 days ago." Funkhauser: "Talk about an excellent alibi."
2. Meredith: "Great. I was going to do an actual autopsy, you know, with science and stuff but if you've got it figured out, saves me some time."
3. Milt: "I don't like you guys . I didn't like you guys before you were killers. You know why? Because every town has people like you, spoiled little brats who get away with everything. But every town also has people like me, stubborn idiots. Yes, we don't have any evidence." Milt: "Russ, I don't…" Russ: "Yes, you clean up well but you know what? This isn't the end until you go to jail. You know why? Because you can't stab a person and not get bloody."
4. Russ: "Maybe the stabs didn't kill her. Oh, maybe she had a heart attack and somebody gave her CPR with a steak knife."
5. Milt: "People love people without sleeping with them all the time."

Scorpion - 1.19 - Young Hearts Spark Fire

Way, way too much Walter pining over Paige in this one for me. This entire episode was made for the shippers. I'm not one of them so the fire episode left me cold. It did have its moments. Sylvester told off Grumpy and saved him both with brains and brawn. Toby and Sylvester got great lines. Walter jumped off a cliff. Cabe didn't give up on the team. Nothing much happened with the females except shipping junk so that was disappointing. Let's just say that in the rewatch, this episode went down an entire letter grade. Ho hum.

Grade: C

Best Reason to Watch - forest fire heroics
Best Reason to Fast Forward - anything about Walter and Paige feelings, so 1/3 of the episode
Best Moment - Grumpy tells Sylvester he'd be proud to have Sylvester as his kid
Biggest Laugh - a firefighter sprays Toby with the extinguisher right as he's about to tell Happy he loves her
Smartest Hero - Sylvester for finding a way for them to survive in a flashover fire
Biggest Hero - Walter, for rope swinging across the ravine first
Biggest Douche - Grumpy, who isn't making anything better
Sweetest Gesture - Paige gives her costume jewelry to the kid so he can propose
Best Running Plot - never leave a man behind
Most On the Nose - the title
Least Interesting Subplot - Paige and Walter
Most Exciting Engagement - not everyone's engagement ring can save them from a forest fire
Biggest Hmm - Why did they take Paige along instead of having her stay with Sylvester and Grumpy? It seems like her interpersonal skills were best needed with them.
Most Complicated - Toby turns to math to prove Walter likes Paige. I use my eye roll paradigm.
Biggest Dig - climate change deniers and anti-vaccine groups
Most Practical - Happy tells the kid to dump his rocks when they're hiking
Stupidest Plan - Toby undoes his seatbelt before the crash to cover Happy
Most in Need of a New Contract - Sylvester because they keep putting him in perilous situations over his clear objections
Best Reference - Rock a Bye Baby
Best Quotes -
1. Walter: "And how old are you?" Toby: "Thirteen months older than you so show your elders respect."
2. Sylvester: "Walter, I want to help but I can't willingly board a death trap designed by Leonardo da Vinci 500 years ago."
3. Happy: "When I go down, this thing is going to shake. Just keep your heads straight and we should be good." Sylvester: "Should. Fantastic."
4. Toby (holding the broken sat phone): "We might not get the reception we're looking for on this model."
5. Paige: "Over there." Toby: "How do you know?" Paige: "It's very scientific. I heard them."

The Returned - 1.03 - Julie

Remember how last week I had even fewer answers than after watching the pilot? This tradition continues, but at least I'm more engrossed this time. Lena's new and widening scar has all kinds of potential. Is Camille psychically sucking the life from her and it is manifesting physically? Is Lena receiving the wounds Camille got as she died? Is Victor responsible for all of this? So many questions. And what about Peter's claim that he knew someone who came back a long time ago? Was it him? Has he studied cases like these and that's why he took Camille's reappearance very well? What did he do before he moved to this town and why did he show up here to begin with? Did he really come as part of his job or is there a deeper significance to the town? Is Adam really the serial killer Tony obviously thinks he is? Will Victor do us all a favor and kill Nosy Neighbor? I'm guessing this is a no since that's what they are leading us to believe. I bet he makes her less nosy though. I'm also betting they don't show us what he does to her because they really want to keep their secrets to themselves in this show, a frustrating side effect of almost all genre shows.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the mysteries are getting deeper and more complicated
Best Aww Scene - Simon sees his daughter
Best Mystery - Peter says he knew someone who came back earlier / Lena's wound
Most Annoying - Camille
Most in Need of Going - Nosy Neighbor
Biggest Psycho - Adam Darrow, who his brother obviously thinks is killing women / Victor, the likely homicidal kid
Most Creepy / Biggest Stalker - Why does Sheriff Tommy have spyware on his fiancé installed on his laptop? That's a total violation. I'm beginning to think he killed Simon because he wanted Rowan even back then.
Most Valid Point - Camille says that she lost Lena too and the new age difference makes that true
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Jack gives Camille a cigarette
The "Welcome Back" Award - Michelle Forbes, who is also currently starring in Powers
Best Reference - Emerson
Best Quote - Lena: "Someone has to babysit the miracle."

Fresh Off the Boat - 1.09 - License to Sell

It's good to have Fresh Off the Boat back. It and Benched are my favorite new comedies this season. In fact, they are the only new comedies I kept watching and this one will actually get a season 2. (Sorry Benched.) As usual, Jessica is the highlight of the episode and it was good to see her out of her element. She's rarely anything but confident. Seeing someone psych her out was good for her character development and allowed Louis to support her. I really loved how both Honey and Louis gave her a pep talk, although I think Honey needs to find a hobby. She's run around Orlando twice in this episode alone. I love how they continue to utilize Honey but Nicole needs to go. Her brattiness weighs down the show and makes Eddie worse.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - laughs combined with a good message
Best Laugh - the boys and then Louis using the hair dryer as a spaceship
Most Needing to Go - Nicole and her enormous attitude
Best Reaction - Jessica to Louis' salon style hair dryer
Worst Advice - Louis basically tells Eddie to stalk Nicole in order to get a date with her
Worst Plan - Eddie lets Nicole tattoo and pierce him
Best Pep Talk - Honey to Jessica, even if Jessica doesn't take it
Best Turn About - the boys get to quiz Jessica for her test and they make her write the answers 5 times
Best Ninja Mom Move - Eddie says he's going to do homework and loves his mom, so she zaps right in front of him to see what he's hiding
Best Reference - Melissa Joan Hart
Best Quotes -
1. Louis: "You look like an Indian Elmer Fudd."
2. Jessica: "How crazy are houseboats? You go home and you sail away. What's your address? The ocean. Don't like your neighbors? Fish are your neighbors. You can eat your neighbors."
3. Eddie: "Can you not talk in Restaurant?"
4. Jessica: "Apparently you need a license to sell houses. Did you know this?" Louis: "I did know this. I told you this, and you ignored me."
5. Louis: "Okay find some shared interest, something you both like…you know to break the ice." Eddie: "Is that what you did with mom?" Louis: "Oh not right away. We developed our shared interests over about 9 months. You." Eddie: "Nasty."

iZombie - 1.02 - Brother, Can You Spare a Brain?

While I liked the pilot better, I still enjoyed this episode. I think if we didn't spend so much time in the artist brain, I would have found it more entertaining. I guess I'm not sure what the goal here was. Were they trying to make us see Liv in a different light? Were they going for humor? Were they going for horny? I don't know so obviously they didn't achieve their goal with me. I do hope that we won't see lingering vestiges of artist brain with Liv though because the flowery descriptions, while funny at first, tended to slow down the usually whip-smart dialogue.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Liv is constantly changing based on who she's eating at the time so she's unlikely to get boring
Biggest Scumbag - Surprisingly it was not the zombie killer, the human murderer, or the slutty almost rapist. It was the 40-some odd year old murder victim who knocked up an 18 year old.
Best Side Effect from Being Zombified - Nope, not the sudden urge to go Bob Villa. It's the sudden ability to kick douche bag butt.
Best Business Man - Blaine can turn a pretty profit in the brain business once he turns people into zombies
Least Appealing Subplot - eating brains of course is the most disgusting but Liv's new art passion went from quirky to outright annoying in about 12 minutes
Best Side Eye - Clive to Liv getting way into her brain revelation and reaction to the model
Biggest Say What? - the murder suspect introduces her friend as her favorite of her husband's lovers
Best Plan - Major tells Liv off and kicks her out
Least Surprising - David Anders plays a bad guy
Most Enthusiastic - Doc in examining Blaine
Most Awkward - Liv tells Blaine that he turned her into a zombie although he says he doesn't remember
Best Reaction - the sketch artist at Liv's artistic description
Best Reference - LL Cool J
The "Welcome Back" Award - Judy Reyes from Scrubs / Sean O. Roberts, formerly Mensa Monster on Supernatural
Best Quotes -
1. Clive: "Someone came in that you didn't see but was probably Lola." Liv: "I didn't say that." Clive: "No, you gave me 50 Shades of Psychic and no vital details."
2. Blaine: "You're the trend spotter. I should ask you. Zombies, I heard we're finito. Is that…is that true? Has oversaturation buried us?"
3. Clive: "I'm going to head over and question her again. You feel like joining me? Maybe you'll have another vision. Hopefully one that's less late night premium cable."
4. Major: "Hey, pod person who's taken over Liv's body, really should have done some homework because no one's gonna buy this."
5. Liv: "There he is, Tasha's ex. The one with the gleaming crystal eyes and the mouth that looks like it just finished eating a peach." Clive: "How about you just tell me what color shirt he's wearing?" Liv: "Cerulean."
6. Tito: "I've been thinking about you ever since our interrogation. I've heard of bad cop-good cop before but bad cop-horny cop was a first." Liv: "How about we go grab a drink with the others and you can tell me all about how I objectified you?"

Young & Hungry - 2.01 - Young & Too Late

This episode felt more like the season 1 finale than it did the season 2 premiere. All it needs is for Gabi to lose her phone by the next episode or Josh to have moved on to a new girlfriend. He doesn't seem to like being alone at all. Sadly this pair has all the makings of a will they-won't they relationship to me and I'm sick of those. Either put them together or forever hold your peace, show. And I do mean forever. No final season hooking up really quickly before the show is cancelled thing. Ho hum to everything Josh and Gabi anyway. I love all the secondary characters better, including Cooper this time. Yolanda is still snarking her way into my heart, and despite the continual bad advice, Sophia is a favorite too. What surprised me in this episode was how much I liked Elliot. Usually he annoys me, but here he was funny and less obnoxious. Big kudos on that. Let's hope he continues in this vein because if my favorite duo becomes a trio, well that's a lot of Gabi and Josh I can sweep right on by.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - the secondary characters, all who make the mess of Josh and Gabi tolerable and even fun
Biggest Laugh - Sophia tells Josh to call Gabi and he starts yelling out her name
Biggest Hypocrite - Gabi can't gripe about Josh sleeping with someone else since it was her last time
Best Emotional Blackmail - Yolanda tries to get Elliot to ditch his date and stay with Josh
Biggest Ouch - Josh gives Gabi back the blanket she crocheted for him
Most Improved Character - Elliot
Worst Change - the opening credits are way too bizarre now
Biggest Hmm - Gabi doesn't know how to put her phone on airplane mode? Was she born last century?
The "Say What?" Award - no way Gabi has packed for 3 weeks in China with just that little suitcase
Worst Advice - Sophia telling Josh to spill his feelings out over voice mail
Biggest Babble - it's hard to choose between Josh and Gabi here
The "Glad the Wedding Cancellation Paid Off for Someone" Award - at least Elliot got a date out of it
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Cooper
Best Quotes -
1. Cooper: "Anyway I figured while Josh was away on his honeymoon, you could spend 3 weeks with me in China. It's such an amazing place. Everything in this apartment is from there."
2. Yolanda: "May I remind you that I told you to go tell Gabi how you feel, not to creep outside around her apartment and then run away."
3. Andre: "I'm a florist. That practically makes me a licensed psychologist. Spill."
4. Josh: "Are you saying that Gabi has feelings for me?" Sophia: "Come on, Josh. You had no idea?" Andre: "The pretty ones are never smart."
5. Gabi: "He must be beside himself." Yolanda: "He's beside something alright."

Forever - 1.18 - Dead Men Tell Long Tales

The case of the week was pretty bland, but I do like how Henry's back story came full circle. We've now seen how he became immortal and the result of his decision to try to free the slaves. I'm glad it had a happy ending and Henry can get some peace for that part of his life. I'm also good with Jo dating Isaac if that means there is more Cuba Gooding, Jr. on my screen. The man is a 90's icon. Plus it throws a wrinkle in the partner romance thing. Woo hoo! I do wish that Abe had a bigger role in this but Henry and he breaking into the warehouse was fun. Now we need an episode that focuses on Abe's flashbacks.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Henry back story
Best Scene - Isaac tells Henry that the slaves made it to freedom because he dropped the key when he died
The "Poor Baby" Award - Lucas just wants a little love from Henry
Best Matchmaker - Reece, who leaves Jo and Isaac alone to set up another date
Best Detective Duo - Henry and Abe
Most Enthusiastic - Lucas talking about treasure
The "Yes, Everything in the Universe Does Indeed Revolve Around Henry" Award - this time a man is murdered who found the ship that Henry was murdered on
Biggest Punner - Lucas, who never met a pirate joke he didn't say
The "Say What?" Award - Why would Adam think that the weapon used to temporarily kill them the first time can eternally kill them now? I mean it didn't kill them the first time. Is second time the charm?
The "Not Him Again" Award - I am very unexcited about Adam returning
The "Welcome Back" Award - Cuba Gooding, Jr., most notably from Boyz in the Hood, A Few Good Men, and Jerry Maguire
Best Quotes -
1. Abe: "Never pull a job on an empty stomach."
2. Abe: "Henry, I've been your son for almost 70 years. I've heard all of your stories."
3. Jo: "Did he just give away his motive?" Henry: "I think he also winked at you."
4. Henry: "I believe that 99.9% of everything can be explained scientifically. There's no fate, no magic, no curses except for one - my own."
5. Jo: "What's he after?' Hanson: "My guess…you."

The Flash - 1.16 - Rogue Time

You take the good. You take the bad.
You take 'em both and there you have this episode, this episode.
Time travel's got to go. It's slow
When everything that you know
It gets redone. It's been undone.
When no one's really dead
And they don't remember what they just said,
And suddenly you're finding out
All of last week's story clout
Is moot. It's really moot.
At least they did get something right.
Iris and Barry are not as trite.

Seriously though, time travel is not a good TV trope and then they added some of the most cringe worthy dialogue of the season. Seriously, almost everything the villains said was horrendously cheesy. On the plus side though, we got Cisco back and the end of the molasses-paced Barry and Iris saga. Let's just all agree that we don't ever need to hear about their will they-won't they relationship again. There is no upside there. Now that Caitlin has smoothed things over between them with her totally bogus mental health diagnosis, let's get back to saving the world. Um, except from Snart I guess. (Aside - I originally typed Snark and that makes me laugh. Could we please have a villain called Captain Snark? That's one ubervillain I won't want to see go. PS - His alter ego is Crowley on SPN.) Isn't making deals with your archrival the way superheroes fall? This won't end well for you, Barry. Luckily they did preserve 2 things from the previous episode. I love that Wells still tells Cisco that he's like a son to him. I also love that suspicion is mounting against Wells. He's playing a dangerous game, trying to keep everything normal, and I hope he gets good and stuck in his web of lies. Still this episode is all about Cisco and that's where it excels. We get much needed back story on the character, including a pretty intense case of sibling rivalry. I'm glad Caitlin was there for him at the party. At first I wanted her to be the one to comfort him when he returned after being kidnapped but in the end it was more powerful coming from Wells. Not only is Cisco like a kid to Wells (one he doesn't mind killing by the way) but Wells is like a father figure to Cisco. It is now more clear why he needs to believe in Wells and why he is so eager for his approval. Of everyone who gets hurt when Wells is revealed as the Yellow Flash, it will be Cisco that takes it the hardest.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - Barry finally believes that Wells may be evil
Best Back Story - Cisco and his brother
Worst Deal - So Snart keeps stealing stuff and the Flash keeps letting him? Is that the deal they struck? That isn't going to go bad quickly at all. Just wait until the internet figures it out.
Biggest Aww Moment - Cisco tells Barry he revealed his secret identity and they both apologize
The "You Deserve It" Award - I feel not one jot sorry for Barry. He deserved to be punched by Eddie.
Biggest Laugh - the dialogue. Think "The Count on Arrow" bad.
The "Say What?" Award - Her gun turns people to gold? If Cisco had that capability, why does he even need a job?
Most Cartoonish Villains - Every single one of them tonight. They all talk like they came from a B movie.
Most Anticlimactic - Barry arrests the bad guy while he's reading the paper and before anything can happen
Least Likely to Keep a Secret / Most Likely to Screw a Timeline All to Hades - Barry
Least Surprising - Cisco is no longer dead
Most Surprising - Barry thinks Eddie is going to hit him again but instead he bear hugs him
The "Well At Least We Don't Have To Deal with Romance" Award - If we have to undo, at least we get Cisco back and we don't have to deal with Barry and Iris sucking all oxygen from the room.
Best Friend - Caitlin tells Cisco that she'll go with him to his brother's birthday party / Caitlin creates Lightning Psychosis to explain Barry's weird behavior with Iris and Eddie
Most Relatable - sibling rivalry
The "Hey, Even I Know that's a Comic Thing" Award - Barry calls Snart's gang a Rogue Gallery
Most Awkward - Barry and Cisco pretty much tie for this one
The "Welcome Back" Award - Captain Cold and Heat Wave
Best Quotes -
1. Wells: "Making a choice between 2 people you love, that is the hardest dilemma you will ever face." Cisco: "Well, you won't have to worry about me making the wrong decision again." Wells: "All you proved today is that you're human. All you proved today is that you love your brother and the reason that we all want you to stay is that we love you too. Now I am not a parent but in many ways you have shown me what it is like to have a son."
2. Caitlin: "Yeah, it's a very uncommon neurological phenomenon. We're really only just now beginning to research it in chronomedicine. It's why Barry's been spending so much time at Star Labs." Iris: "I just…I wish you would have told me." Barry: "It hardly feels real sometimes."
3. Snart: "Hello, Cisco. What exactly are your intentions with my sister?" Cisco: "Oh come on. I should have known better. I'm not that lucky. Please don't kill me for kissing your sister." Snart: You kissed him." Lisa: "You're not dad, Lenny." Snart: "I know. Dad's in jail. Sterling role model."
4. Iris: "Did I ever tell you how wise and amazing you are?" Joe: "Not enough."
5. Cisco: "That's the first time I've heard anyone use the word great to describe a breakup."

Supernatural - 10.16 - Paint It Black

Even after 200+ episodes, I love a good ghost story. I don't even mind that we spent significant time on back story of a character we had never met before and would never meet again. I was far too busy being impressed by how nonchalant Good Sister was about ghosts. Ha! I wouldn't mind her coming back again. After all, she did say that ghosts were frequent visitors to the church so who knows when she'll need another good ghostbusting. Strangely though the brothers were kind of secondary in this episode, which did lower the grade a bit. Well besides Dean's mortality staring right at him and Sam desperately trying to get through to Dean again. Have I said how much I like this return to old Sam who is all about saving his brother? Then there's Rowena who finally has a purpose in the story besides torturing Crowley. It's about time. Now maybe she will stop nagging at him. I love this extended Crowley time but Rowena needs to interact with other characters because the manipulative mother act is getting old. Also shout out to Dr. Fraiser from Stargate SG-1, who died far too soon in that series. It's good to see Teryl Rothery back on my screen.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - old-fashioned ghost tale complete with back story on tertiary characters
Best Character Interaction - Rowena and Olivette
Biggest Moral - don't choose the crazy as your muse
The "Say What?" Award - Sam, ignore Dean and go with your gut. If it isn't the journal tethering her, then you might need it to figure out what is.
The "It's about Time" Award - someone acknowledges that they can hear Dean and Sam when they talk about supernatural things in public places
Biggest Face Palm - Dean at confession before it turned serious
Biggest Brat - Rowena, and it's actually funny
Best Continuity - we've got smoke ghosts like smoke demons / Dean gets beat up by the possessed chick
Least Surprising - the ghost nun did it / witches don't like the Men of Letters
Best Surprise - Sister is cool with ghosts
The "Um, Hellooooo" Award - We've been through dozens of vengeful spirits before. Why are they acting like one tied to an artifact is a new thing? They don't all have bones to salt and burn.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Teryl Rothery from SG-1, Arrow, Kyle XY, and others
Best Quotes -
1. Olivette: "It was a rabid group of sanctimonious do gooders dedicated to our downfall." Rowena: "They had equal magic?" Olivette: "Worse, public relations."
2. Rowena: "The Winchesters. Again with the Winchesters. Perpetually the Winchesters."
3. Sam: "Look man, I'm just saying I'm your brother. If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you've got somebody right here next to you."
4. Dean: "Sister, did you notice any change in the McCarthy's lives? You know fighting, drinking, cheating. You know, the usual." Sister: "The usual. A bit cynical, Agent?" Dean: "Well you know scissors to the gut really bring out the Grinch in me."
5. Sister: "Really? The FBI believes in ghosts."
6. Dean: "What if I said I…I didn't want to die yet and that I wasn't ready." Father: "Are you expecting to?" Dean: "Always. You know, the life I live, the work I do, yeah, I pretty much just figured that that was all there was of me. You know, tear around and jam the key in the ignition. Haul a** until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later I'd go out the same way that I live. Pedal to the metal and that would be it."

CSI: Cyber - 1.03 - Fire Code

This is a solid episode of CSI: Cyber and it holds up well after repeat watching. The crime is interesting even if the pacing could use a little help. Who knew arson went to the cyber level? Still the best part of the episode was getting more back story on Nelson. Now all we need is a Raven-centric episode.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Nelson back story
Best Dukes of Hazard Slide - Mundo hopping a hood to cross the street
The "Oh Please" Award - If the fire was big enough to create a back draft, then the door knob would have been hot, alerting Stacie to its presence.
Most Educational - the idea of a zero-day attack
Best Plan - Nelson puts a tracker on his flash drive
Biggest Pet Peeve - Why do shows feel the need to recap stuff that happened in the same episode? Do they really think we are so stupid we forgot we happened 8 minutes prior or are they worried that what they wrote was that forgettable? Bah on recapitations.
Biggest PSA - strong wi-fi passwords could keep your house from burning down
Best Quotes -
1. Mundo: "You're not that smart. You're a step above Script Kitty."
2. Avery: "Elijah, a little piece of advice. When it comes to family, be selfish."
3. Avery: "You work for the FBI. We are a team, but we all need to know what play is being called, okay?"

The Goldbergs - 2.16 - The Lost Boy

As always, The Goldbergs combines laughs and heart in just the right measure to hit the comedy sweet spot. In this case I liked Beverly's storyline more than Murray's though. We've all lived through mom guilt, but Beverly is a world class master in it. To be honest, I don't think I'd ever stop seeing a shrink if my mom guilted me that much. What I like here is that I laughed and cringed as she did her worst, but that scene with Pops was amazing. I love how he can make her see the long-term consequences of her actions and yet still make her feel loved and understood. It's a great parent-adult child bond that we don't see in many shows today. I liked how she in turn made peace with Erica and Barry until they all found a compromise. The montages at the end accompanied by the song of the episode are always stunning heart grabbers. I had a harder time with the Murray and Adam story line though because I can't believe that a junior high kid in the 80's had no plan for if he got lost. We had plans for every place and every building had the area you went to if you were lost. Everyone knew that. Maybe if Adam were 8 I would buy this but he's too smart to not at least have some clue as to what to do. Not to say that Murray was much better since he doesn't even know how old his kid is. Plus parents in the 80's knew to come up with a meeting place in any building in case someone got lost. I think he missed the memo.

Grade: B (average)

Best Reason to Watch - Beverly apologizes for guilting her kids and they apologize for ditching her
Best Aww Moment - Murray tells Adam that he's safe when they finally find each other
Best Scene - Pops tells Beverly to back off before her kids resent her
The "Say What?" Award - Even in the 80's every place had an information station. The first thing a lost kid did was find it and your parents would come there eventually if the company didn't completely embarrass you first by PA-ing that you were lost. If nothing else, Adam should be able to tell about where they sat by looking at the field from each section. Does Adam have zero common sense?
Best Reaction - Beverly to Erica and Barry driving away and leaving her
Most Embarrassing - Beverly and she has Olympic-sized talent at it
The "So Much for Parenting" Award - Murray doesn't even know how old Adam is
Most Disgusting - urine trough, blech!
Biggest Face Palm - Barry thought Pops was teaching them to literally fight their mother
Most Pathetic - Adam, who can't go to the bathroom by himself when he's in middle school
Best Motto - "It's Not Real. Don't Feel." Most passionate fans need to remember this when writers try to manipulate them through fan pandering to mask the fact that the story doesn't make sense. (Sorry. This is less about The Goldbergs than other shows in the last few weeks.)
The "It's Your Own Fault" Award - I don't know why Adam is upset with Murray. He was the moron that didn't check a seat number or the section they sat in and then couldn't even smart his way back.
Best Music - Have a Little Faith in Me
The "Welcome Back" Award - Diedrich Bader from The Drew Carey Show and a whole lot of voice work
Best Quotes -
1. Murray (when heading to the baseball game): "Go get your glove." Adam: "My Michael Jackson glove or my Nintendo Power glove?" Murray: "Really?"
2. Pops: "Honey, you can't hold them hostage with guilt for the rest of their lives. They're just going to end up resenting you." Beverly: "What else am I supposed to do? I'm their mom. If it were up to them, they'd never spend time with me." Pops: "Have you ever wondered why they love hanging out with me so much? Cause I don't force them to. Also, I'm pretty freaking delightful." Beverly: "You are pretty delightful." Pops: "And so are you."
3. Barry: "Ah come on, not the little pack of tissues. Mom tears are the worst tears ever."
4. Barry: "But we're just trying to apologize for what we did." Beverly: "No, I'm the one who needs to apologize. I guilt you kids way too much. It's just…uh, when you were little all you wanted to do was spend time with me and you know a mom gets used to that. You two will never understand how much it hurts when that goes away." Erica: "I think that's just the way things are right now." Barry: "You know we really meant what we bedazzled. We do love you."
5. Erica: "I need you to look me in the eye and say you are with me." Barry: "I'm with you. God save my soul. I'm with you."

Allegiance - 1.08 - The Arrival

Allegiance is heating up as the mole goes on the defensive, or is that moles? I still say that Michelle and whoever killed her are both moles. No way she's taking up a relationship with Alex in the middle of the case if she's not. Right now the smart money is on Sam being the other mole but I really hope he isn't. Plus he's the next obvious choice so they wouldn't go there, right? I'm going with either the lie detector man, Faber, or the head honcho, Brock, being Michelle's killer. I guess it could have been someone in the SVR though. Does Victor have those gloves? I feel like I have missed something crucial by not checking out everyone's gloves in the past few episodes, but I have no time to go back to check. If any of you have an Alex-like memory, let me know who the gloves fit.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the action is heating up and the mystery is in overdrive
Best Reaction - Alex to realizing Michelle wants a midday booty call / Sam to finding out Alex and Michelle slept together
Least Surprising - Christoph blows up the guy's nephew
Most Surprising - Michelle is killed
Most Telling Sign that They are in Danger - Alex tells his parents that he loves them
Most in Need of Dying - Isakof, like usual
Worst Spy - Alex, like usual
TMI Award - Katya tells Victor that Mark is incredible with his hands
Most Suspicious - Michelle has to be a mole. There's no way she keeps sleeping with Alex if she's not, but someone else must be as well. Please don't let it be Sam. Please.
Worst Plan - Alex tries to access Michelle's computer 1. When she's supposed to be out of town and 2. When no one else is in the office. I assume both the FBI and CIA keep track of employee computer data and that Alex needs to swipe in to get into the office to begin with.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Giancarlo Esposito, formerly of Revolution and soon to be the Maze Runner series
Best Quotes -
1. Katya: "There's more thumb than office in a lot of these." Victor: "You try taking covert photos in the middle of a meeting with a paranoid spy master."
2. Michelle: "Do you feel better?" Sam: "About Alex, yes. Not about the fairness of the universe to be frank."
3. Michelle: "How is it that you're employed by the same organization that tracked down Bin Laden?" Sam: "Jealous?" Michelle: "I will pay you to let me sleep right now."
4. Michelle: "Wipe that grin off your face before James Bond back there catches on."
5. Alex: "So what does it mean, this no side projects thing?" Natalie: "You're the dumbest genius ever. It means she doesn't want you sleeping with other people." Alex: "What? Why would I do that?" Natalie: "
Well you wouldn't."

Grimm - 4.15 - Double Date

At this point the only female still on Grimm that I can stand is Rosalee. I've said it 1345 times but they need Trubel back. She was always good for solving cases and injecting some good action. Let's see what the action was this time. Oh yeah, Nick and Hank stood around talking and then Nick shot the suspect with a dart while no one even moved their feet. Bah! Instead of action we get Juliette the HarpyHexen who seems to think everybody owes her something. Seriously, who goes over to someone's house and demands that they take them in indefinitely. Renard didn't do this to you, Juliette, so stop acting like he's there to serve you. Then we have Adalind's brilliant plan to shack up with someone right away and pawn her hellspawn off on them. Perfect. If she sleeps with Renard's dad, King or not, there will not be enough socks in the world. Unless Adalind dies in childbirth, there is nothing in this story that doesn't scream Fast Forward to me. Heave ho, out the door you go. At this point, only the new Royal in town is remotely intriguing in the whole storyline. Remember when everyone was on a quest for the key and it was mysterious and exciting and the whole Royals versus Resistance subplot added vitality to Grimm? It is all but a distant memory by now. Time to cut out the fat and get this show back on track or there will be nothing of substance for anyone to feed on.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - Wesen is interesting
Biggest Hmmm - Does Monroe have a say in this undercover work or are you guys all going to decide this for him?
Best Bar Name - Olive or Twist
The "Excuse Me" Award - You don't just barge into someone's house and tell them they have to put you up for the night. Geez Juliette. Go home or get a hotel. Also stop acting so entitled. It isn't Renard's fault that Nick and you jumped on a potion solution AGAIN when that has worked so well in the past for you.
The "You Said It, I Think It" Award - Renard looks at who's ringing the bell, sees it's Juliette, and says, "Oh this can't be good." That's pretty much how I feel, sir.
Best Reaction - Wu to them talking crossbows
The "Nope, Just Nope" Award - Nothing can happen to Renard. Even if these bad dreams and blood spurts mean he is shirtless, they need to go away and he needs to be just fine.
The "You So Got Played" Award - A hot woman going home with this guy on a TV show means bad things will happen. Not that I feel bad since he's apparently cheating on his wife.
Least Surprising - The woman and the man are the same person. I remember this from the worm dissection lesson in high school.
Best Plan - Viktor's out and New Royal's in. I don't know who he is but he has to be better than snore-worthy Viktor. At least the promo shows he can fight.
Most Grateful - me for it NOT being spiders
Biggest PSA - Monroe speaks out for transgendered Wesen everywhere
The "Also Starring" Award - Renard's abs, which should have their own billing this episode
The "Welcome Back" Award - Mark Famiglietti from Young Americans and recently on How to Get Away with Murder
Best Quotes -
1. Renard: "Sounds Wesen to me." Hank: "Or we're looking for a big-a** snail."
2. Rosalee: "This Wesen sounds like the epitome of an identity crisis. I can't even imagine how it must feel to be both a man and a woman." Wu: "That would be complicated."
3. Stacy: "Are you sure you want to hear my tales of woe? This is your last chance." Man: "Hey I'm from Detroit. I know woe."
4. Adalind: "I can't have another baby. I don't even know where the first one is."
5. Wu: "Let's pull the surveillance once we get there. I don't want to have to explain this to anyone else."

The Musketeers - 2.10 - Trial and Punishment

I have mixed feelings about this episode. I like that the season has its closure with Rochefort's death. I think they should keep self-contained seasons throughout. I loved all the scenes with Milady and Athos, and I am relieved that Athos was honest enough to go even if he arrived too late. However, I hate that Milady appears to be gone. If it is true, the single most interesting character has left us and we're stuck with a few I wouldn't mind seeing killed off. The biggest disappointment though is that there are zero consequences for any of the main characters and that sucks out loud. Aramis should be banished from the court. King Louis and all of his advisors should be sending him off to anywhere else on the pretense of guarding France. To have him still around makes a sham of the seriousness of their offense. I'm not a big fan of how easily D'Artagnan and Constance got off for their adultery either. Let's conveniently kill her husband so they can be together. It feels like fan pandering at its worst. Still this season gave us more Porthos, which was the biggest highlight, and the action stayed consistent and adrenaline-filled. Since the characters often annoy me, it is the action I'm here for anyway. Plus Rochefort was a fun ball of crazy, a definite improvement over the cardinal. All in all, I'm satisfied so I'll be sticking around for the war with Spain.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - the action
Biggest Ho Hum - Rochefort is dead and life goes on for everyone
Best Aww Moment - Treville gives Porthos his battle sword
Most Intense - Aramis on trial
Best Plan - making Athos the new captain
Most Ironic - Rochefort is literally stabbed in the back
Best Timing - the Musketeers every single time someone is about to die
Least Surprising - Constance does NOT die / Marguerite does
The "I Feel for You" Award - I may not like King Louis and think he's an overgrown baby, but his life has sucked for the last few days. Finding out that his son is really not his son is the final straw.
Most Short and Sweet - French marriage vows consist of saying, "I Will" twice and 3-5 sentences from a priest. I've been to a Catholic wedding before and it's gotten considerably longer over the centuries.
Biggest Ouch - Queen Anne lays it on the line for Monsieur CrazyPants Rochefort
Best Rescue - tie - Milady of Aramis and the team of Constance
The "Don't Screw This Up Twice" Award- Treville, take the job and be grateful that another rampant psychopath isn't advising the king
Best Reference - The Musketeer motto from the book
Best Quotes -
1. Rochefort: "Do you know why it took so long for him to break me? You. The mere thought of you was a refuge from my agony." Queen: "Know this, Rochefort. In all that time, I did not think of you once."
2. Rochefort: "Do you love the queen, Aramis? Will you confess?" Aramis: "I will. I confess to knowing that you are a liar whose promises can never be trusted. You could never afford to leave the queen alive, Rochefort. She knows you are a Spanish spy. She knows you are a murderer. You assaulted Her Majesty without invitation or provocation and now you intend to conceal your lies by accusing the innocent. It is Rochefort who's the traitor, Rochefort who is the enemy, and Rochefort who should be on trial." Rochefort: "So you deny the charges." Aramis: "I do."
3. Aramis: "It won't be long before they notice my escape." Milady: "It was not an escape. It was a rescue for which you are very welcome." Aramis: "It's not a rescue yet."
4. Milady: "Would it matter to you if I went?" Athos: "You are free to do as you please." Milady: "I'm not free. I'm bound to you as you are to me. I've become this foul and ugly thing, this stranger who cheats and lies and kills without conscience. I don't want to be that creature anymore. I want to be as I was once with you. To feel hope instead of this deadness in my heart."
5. Vargas: "Spain thanks you for your service." Rochefort: "None of this was for Spain."

Community - 6.01 / 6.02 - Ladders / Lawnmower Maintenance & Postnatal Care

I like Community but I'm not a fanatic about it. If it had ended last season I would have been good. Still I am glad it's back because the season 6 premiere was Community at its best. Largely referential and meta, the premiere took audience concerns and made them part of the show. As always, Abed is the voice of the audience AND the creators. He points out issues the audience may have like how these guys never seem to graduate but then answers as the creators. It's not important. Greendale lives in a world on its own and as such the realities of life are meaningless. But too much fancy makes for a draining and often bizarre show so I am really glad that they added Frankie as a character. She's the voice of reality, something the show has needed for a long time. She grounds the most outlandish and still allows the characters to play in their own sandbox. I think that's why I loved the premiere but I didn't like the second episode nearly as much. The second one went off the deep end fast and I didn't find anything about Dean in the VR world funny at all. Maybe it's because I generally don't find the dean funny. I did love that they brought Keith David in though. I really miss him from Enlisted. Still I could have done without the VR plot at all. Britta's plot was only slightly less annoying. She tends to be my least favorite of the core group and this just enhanced her irritating qualities. Still it did explain a bit how they could afford the things they did (see question from the premiere) and I liked the interchange between Frankie and Britta in the car. Here's hoping Britta's parents are featured more as well. They were a lot of fun. So far this season of Community feels a lot like most of them. The good will be excellent and the bad utterly forgettable. I can't wait to see which way this season leans.

Grade: A- / B-

Best Reason to Watch - Community is one of a kind
Biggest Laugh - the sorry montage
Best New Addition - Frankie
The "Only on Community" Award - Frisbee avalanche
Most Admirable - Community approaches the issue of Troy and Shirley (people of color) leaving head on instead of ignoring it / they also approach the concern of the new character in a similar manner
Biggest What the Heck - Um, uh, The Butcher and the Baker? Yeah, okay. Hmm.
Best Subplot - montages / the fake TV and movie tags at the end
Best Meta - Abed and Frankie talk about Frankie as a new character
Best Character Growth - Jeff, who tells Elroy it feels better NOT to lie
Least Necessary - Chang, like usual
Most Ridiculous - Dean, like usual
Most Missed - Shirley with the rest of the group
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Bob Waite
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Paget Brewster of Criminal Minds / Keith David, last making me laugh on the incomparable Enlisted / Martin Mull and Lesley Ann Warren from Clue and a bazillion other things
Best Music - Sweet Emotion
Best Quotes -
1. Abed: "My umbrella concern is that you as a character represents the end of what I used to call Our Show, which was once an unlikely family of misfit students and is now a pretty loose-knit group of students and teachers, none of them are taking a class together, in a school which as of your arrival is becoming increasingly grounded. Asking questions like how do any of us get our money, when will we get our degrees, and what happened to that girl I was dating?"
2. Elroy: "Get out of my Winnebago." Jeff: "You're not allowed to say that like it's a punishment."
3. Britta: "I'm going to name one of my sandwiches after her. My sandwiches suck."
4. Britta: "We're a restaurant inside a cafeteria, Annie. Our weak point wasn't traffic." Jeff: "Flo, Alice, stop fighting. I can't afford to lose this place. If I have to start drinking in the men's room, the score in my head has to change from Trent Reznor to Johnny Cash doing Trent Reznor."
5. Elroy: "He'll be back to his old self in an hour." Jeff: "Great. Do you have a way to fix that?"

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for The 100, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews (All Reviews)

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Grimm - 4.15 - Double Date - Best Scene Poll

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for The 100, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
Recent Reviews (All Reviews)

Monday, March 23, 2015

Last Week in TV - Week of March 15

Welcome back to Last Week in TV. I've recovered a bit from my TV grumpiness or maybe just ennui with the help of two shows: Scrubs, the nominated episode of the week, and iZombie, which gets the coveted Show of the Week award this time. Both of them made me laugh and had incredible heart. Mostly though this week was about saying goodbye to shows, some until next season and some forever. Rizzoli and Isles is coming back sooner than I thought while I expect season 2 of Empire to debut in the fall. It is such a big hit that I don't see them waiting until midseason. Perception sadly is gone for good but it did have a decent sendoff so I'm happy with the series. Plus they resisted partner shipping which gives them massive bonus points. As for Eye Candy, its prognosis is poor to middling. I don't expect it to come back but I can live with the ending. It's just a shame that its ratings never matched its pacing. In other news, although both Secrets & Lies and Dig are chugging away, they have been backburnered by me. I'll probably catch up on S&L shortly after it completes its run. Dig goes further down on the to-watch list. However next week I will pick up 12 Monkeys again. I'm a big fan of that episode's focus on Ramse, my favorite character. Also next week I'll be reviewing Gotham. Since the nomination didn't have an episode attached, I'm choosing episode 4 since that's where I left off. If you want to nominate an episode, just fill out the brief form below. Until next time, comments are love and happy TV viewing.

Show of the Week:

iZombie - 1.01 - Pilot

I'm not usually one for zombies but when I heard this was a Rob Thomas production, my expectations soared. After all he made a show about a teen detective into a powerful yet still fun female power treasure. Veronica Mars, like Buffy before her, changed the teen heroine scene and gave kids someone to look up to. Therefore I came into this show with sky high expectations, generally the kiss of death for any show. Instead, this was better than I thought it would be. Like Sleepy Hollow before it completely derailed into this season's biggest train wreck, iZombie has a delightful tendency to NOT take itself seriously. It combines snarky humor with camp and sprinkles in a little action on top. The situation of a designer drug turning people into zombies is beyond goofy so they don't even try to make it serious, allowing the viewers to laugh at the premise with them. However, they still treat their characters with respect. The biggest surprise for me was all the heart. Liv's friends and family obviously care about her and the intervention scene was touching, as was Peyton asking Liv to step up for her. The sheer surprise and gratitude Liv shows over Doc looking for a cure was heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. In the end, it was the kind of dramatic comedy that allows me to root for the hero, while still laughing at the situations. It doesn't get more entertaining than that.

Grade: B+
Ranking - 5
Audience - those who like campy, snarky fun

Best Reason to Watch - the dialogue
Best Scene - Doc reveals that he knows Liv is a zombie
Best Character - tie - Eva, Doc, and Clive although I loved all the characters
Best Side Effect - if you're forced to chow down on brains, then psychic visions aren't a bad tradeoff
Biggest Jinx - Major, who says, "What's the worst that can happen?"
Best Hope - Doc tells Liv that he's working on a cure for her zombie disease
The "Oh Please" Award - It's in the 50's and you're calling that hot cocoa weather? Come to the Midwest. We call the 50's a balmy spring day and break out the picnic.
The "Say What?" Award - A designer drug makes people zombies. Hmm. Is that what you're telling me?
Biggest Eye Roll - So we've had writers, con artists, hackers, professors, real psychics, fake psychics, forensic scientists, taxi drivers, regular coroners, and immortal coroners as partners with cops to solve crimes. Sigh. Now we're adding the undead. Great. Are cops really that incompetent that need every Joe Blow off the street to help them solve crimes now? They can't all be from The Following. What's next, the buddy cop plumber?
The "Too Good to be True" Award - Major
Best Reaction - Liv to Doc looking for a cure for her / Liv seeing that penciling over a notepad actually works
Most Disgusting - brain food…literally
Smartest Guy in the Room - Dr. Chakrabarti, who figures out Liv's secret
Best Merging of Comic and TV - the comics style introductions to certain scenes
Biggest Laugh - the ex is named Major Lilywhite
Best Surprise - Major isn't dating Liv's roommate or mom when she comes up to talk to him
Least Surprising - the guy who made Liv a zombie is still alive
The "Welcome Back" Award - Ty Olsson, formerly Benny on Supernatural / Molly Hagan from my teen years, one of my favorite Cold Case episodes, and Unfabulous / Malcolm Goodwin, formerly Bell's brother on Elementary / David Anders as the bad guy in almost everything / Aly Michalka from Disney and Hellcats / Elysia Rotaru from Supernatural and Backstrom
Best Reference - 16 Candles / Miss Cleo / The Lion King
Best Quotes -
1. Clive: "Hasta la vista, Meemaw." Liv: "Chivalry is dead." Clive: "But Clive is alive."
2. Liv: "If my zombie movie research has taught me anything, it's that being part of a horde would suck."
3. Blaine: "This is Utopium. It will fry your brain, dip it in batter, and fry it again." Liv: "Having my brain treated like a corndog…not so tempting."
4. Liv: "Yes, Sir Elton specifically references dead call girls in The Circle of Life."
5. Liv: "How long have you suspected?" Doc: "Since Raoul Cortex, the gangbanger gunshot victim. You finished the autopsy for me. Well the detective on his case needed me to open him back up. Guess what he was missing?" Liv: "A strong male role model?" Doc: "And a half a pound of brain."
6. Marcy: "So basically every day of your life is like the end of 16 Candles."
7. Clive: "I won't take long. Just a couple of sniffs and a quick look-see, and then it's back to your lair, dark princess." Liv: "Say what?" Clive: "Cuz you all…I…I…I don't know what you are. Emo? Goth? Which is the one who's too tortured to go on living?" Liv: "What I am is a doctor whose too busy to do your job for you." Clive: "You're a doctor who's watching a movie."
8. Eva: "What I'm about to say comes from a place of love. You know that, don't you?" Liv: "That kind of depends on what you say."

Nominated Show:

Scrubs - 1.04 - My Old Lady

I am really glad I saw this episode. It was a touching look at loss from a doctor's point-of-view. It's not your typical comedy fodder, and to be honest, I didn't laugh as much in this episode as I usually do when I catch the odd Scrubs rerun. Yet it didn't need to be typically funny because it held a lot of character growth. Quite frankly, I am shocked that they went this deep this early because in the 4th episode shows are still finding their audience. Good thing the risk paid off, in large part because of the acting. Kathryn Joosten was an inspired choice to walk JD through the trauma of losing his first patient. She's got a winning combination of gruffness, humor, and grandmotherly appeal. The scenes between JD and her are the clear winners. The core 4 did a great job of acting too, each reacting to their failing patients in a unique way. Turk got more personal, Elliott more confident, Carla more empathetic, and JD more mature in the way he looked at life and death. I didn't foresee all 3 of them dying but each death was a powerful blow in its own way. It's hard to cram that much character into 22 minutes and Scrubs did it beautifully. Now if they can only cure JD's hallucinations.

Grade: A-
Ranking - 4
Audience - those who are good with goofy comedy but still want heart and characters to root for

Best Reason to Watch - it's a surprisingly emotional, heartfelt episode
Best Scene - JD tries to convince Tanner to keep fighting but then stays with her until she dies
Biggest Aww Scene - Carla encourages Elliott / the dying patient hugs JD to comfort him
Best Character - now and forever, Cox
Best Character Interaction - JD and Tanner
Most Fun - wheelchair bowling slightly edges out syringe darts because of the increased action
Weirdest Series-Running Gag - JD versus the janitor
Funniest Dream Scene - JD dreams of Tanner burrowing out of the hospital like some prison escape movie
Most in Need of Going - JD's version of Ally McBeal hallucinations
Best Two-Facing - Dr. Cox yells at Elliott for wasting his time but makes the Spanish-speaking patient think that they're all getting along
Best Unintentional Pun - Kelso says, 'Spare me,' when scolding Turk for wheelchair bowling
Best Reference - the iconic Connect Four commercial "Pretty sneaky, sis."
The "Welcome Back" Award - Kathryn Joosten, who will always be Mrs. Landingham from West Wing to me / Travis Wester, one half of the annoying Ghostfacers on Supernatural
Best Music - Hallelujah by John Cale
Best Quotes -
1. Cox: "You are afraid of death and you can't be. You're in medicine. You've got to accept the fact that everything we do here, everything, is a stall. We're just trying to keep the game going. That's it. But ultimately it always ends up the same way."
2. David: "What's up? You want some IV?" Turk: "No, I'm good."
3. Tanner: "You're going to have to shut your mouth at some point. Sweetie, I'm 74 years old. I'm ready to go."
4. Carla: "Look, I don't think these kinds of decisions are easy for anyone, and if it's any consolation, one of the reasons I never liked you is because you're already better at this than most of the doctors that come through here. And to be honest, I kind of liked being the only smart, strong chick in the joint." Elliott: "You sort of just complimented me." Carla: "A little bit." Elliott: "Okay I'm going to have a ginger ale."
5. JD: "I've been off for 2 hours." Tanner: "So with your precious free time you've been sitting in a hospital room talking to an old lady. What about your list? How many of those things have you done? For that matter, how many times have you sat on the grass and done nothing, hmm? You need to start taking some time for yourself, young man. Promise me you'll do that." JD: "I will." Tanner: "Good. Now get out of here. Go on."

New Shows:

One Big Happy - 1.01 - Pilot

This is not the worst comedy pilot of the season. It doesn't rise above meh either. It starts with classic oversharing to exposit the entire plot. Basically the gay woman and her straight male best friend decide to have a baby together. The test comes back negative. The man falls in love with an obnoxious Brit, who is about to be deported. They marry only to find out that the original pregnancy test was wrong and there is a baby on the way. Oh there's also a white sister with her black husband who hate their child. There are plenty of lesbian and white women jokes to be had, but none of them are particularly funny. Not that anyone told the laugh track that. In some places it gets physically painful to hear the laugh track going off every 30 seconds. Even with my hatred of laugh tracks, it is the characters who are the biggest problem. Lizzy is way too anal. Luke is too gullible. Prudence is very, very much NOT prudent. She spends most of the episode naked. Oh and they all fight their way through 2/3 of the episode. That's 2/3 too many for me. I don't think I will be watching the next 2 episodes.

Grade: C
Ranking - 2
Audience - those who find comedy in fighting and pee jokes
TV Math - reverse Will and Grace + My Best Friend's Wedding vibe

Best Reason to Watch - some of the dialogue is really snappy
Best Friend / Best Scene - Lizzy proposes to Prudence for Luke
Best Point - if a product spells accurate wrong, I wouldn't trust it to be…you know, accurate either
The "Say Huh?" Award - I foresee some testy visits with Customs in their future because ICE is not a fan of the "marrying for a green card" philosophy
Least Smooth - Luke jumps the bar and ends up on the ground
The "Bet You're Sorry You Asked" Award - the pharmacist got far more info on these two's life than her question warranted
The "Sorry but I'm with Prudence" Award - the color definitely pops
Most Convoluted Proposal for Another Person Ever - Lizzy proposes to Prudence for Luke and babbles about branches
The "Welcome Back" Award - Elisha Cuthbert, who should have been eaten by the cougar on 24 / Nick Zano from What I Like about You
Best Quotes -
1. Lizzy: "Prudence, Luke is the father." Prudence: "No Lizzy, Darth Vader's the father." Luke: "She's talking about me but I love that you know that."
2. Luke: "I was going to tell you but the subject hadn't come up yet." Lizzy: "Hey you've known her less than a week. A Tuesday hasn't even come up yet."
3. Prudence: "You think I'm Gerard Depar-doing him?" Lizzy: "I think you already did."
4. Prudence: "Just leave it up for a week and if you don't hang yourself, there's your color."
5. Prudence: "Are you always this uptight? Do you know what you need?" Lizzy: "I know that you need a robe or maybe 3 strategically placed leaves."

Powers - 1.01 / 1.02 - Pilot / Like a Power

Note - I realize that Powers debuted 2 weeks ago, but Playstation is not really on my old lady radar so I'm reviewing it now that I know it exists.

I had no idea what to expect from a Playstation creation but it intrigued me that they were getting into the TV business. What I found was a better storyline, a whole lot less violence, and far more cursing than I predicted. The show revolves around a former superhero whose powers were eaten by his former mentor and now locked up super villain called Wolfe. It's a great take on the Titans eating the gods of Olympus. Walker misses his super abilities, especially with his new job as a police officer in charge of taking down dangerous Powers, the name given to both superheroes and super villains. Opinion about them varies and it feels very much like an us versus them society. The show starts with Walker's partner getting killed while brings in a Power so a newbie to Powers Division becomes Walker's new partner. He's damaged. She's determined. In that regard, it is very much like most other cop shows. However in this case Walker makes a far more interesting curmudgeon and that's what makes Powers worthwhile. However this is not likely to become weekly fare for me because there is far more language than I am comfortable with. It's no Deadwood, but it could be a deal breaker for me. I'll give it one more episode to make up my mind.

Grade: B
Ranking - ??? depends on the next episode
Audience - anyone interested in a newer take on the same old comic story and isn't bothered by profanity

Best Reason to Watch - the storyline
Best Manipulator - Johnny Royalle
Most Snarky - coroner
Most Interesting Character Interaction - Walker and Retro Girl
Most Dangerous - I never really thought about how hard it would be for a normal person to take down a superhero/super villain. They really need better tools in the Powers Division.
Best Save - Retro Girl
Best Play on Mythology - Wolfe is the show's Titan
Most Loyal - Elmer, the high rise guard
Biggest Whiner / Most Pathetic - Calista, who will do anything to get powers
Most Intriguing Concept - a superhero having to adjust to no longer having powers
Best Way to Plow Through Exposition - have Mario Lopez do it via Extra for you
Biggest Douche - Kutter for leaving a traumatized girl in a bathroom
The "Welcome Back" Award - Eddie Izzard from much across the pond and The Riches / Michelle Forbes from ST:NG and Battlestar Galactica /
Best Quotes -
1. Walker: "These kids, you don't have to respect them but respect the fact that a fireball could come shooting out of someone's chest if he gets worked up."
2. Walker: "You think you know what that means. You think you can always be there in the nick of time, make the right choice? Cause when you don't, you blame yourself and you live with it every day. Come on. Let's get out of here, you and me."
3. Crispin: "How's the job?" Walker: "Still the job." Crispin: "Kill any more Powers." Walker: "That's not the job." Crispin: "It should be."
4. Walker: "No, no, it was different back then. Me and my friends went on patrols. We wanted to do something, be something. This generation, they don't do anything. They make little "show us your powers" videos and try to go viral. Look at them. Standing around, waiting to be famous."
5. Royalle: "Just because you disagree with a law doesn't mean you get to ignore it."

Weekly Shows:

Battle Creek - 1.03 - Man's Best Friend

While not near as funny this time, Battle Creek still proved to be an enjoyable hour of TV. I like how they insert humor throughout and Russ, while still completely obnoxious, at least wasn't trying to ditch Milt every second. I also find the mystery of why Milt is in Battle Creek to be intriguing. It has to go up the ranks and I'm guessing it was more political than personal, although it was obviously about his family. The case was a bit off the pace but it led to inspired moments like Funkhauser butchering Spanish and Guz's big sting. Not so fond of Russ playing hard ball with an elementary school student though. How's she ever going to trust a cop again?

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - out of all the cop shows I watch, this one is the most fun
Best Detective - Holly, who figures out some of the heroin has been stolen with vinegar
The "I'm Not Buying It" Award - Milt isn't anywhere because his good looks make women swoon. It's much more complicated than that. I can't wait to find out the whole story though.
Biggest Laugh - Funkhauser trying to tell the drug king he's arrested in Spanish and his response: "What?"
Best New Skill - Jacocks, human lie detector
Best Plan - Russ sends Jacocks to PD in order to snoop on why Milt got sent to Battle Creek / Russ gets the drug runner to flip on his boss by offering to drive him home
Worst Plan - anyone asking Russ to speak to kids or people in general / taking a child to the morgue to get her to talk
Best Home Addition - Drug Kingpin has a nice secret exit out of his building. It's like one of those old speakeasy doors.
Best Priorities - instead of learning from the FBI training, everyone just wants to know why Milt got booted to Battle Creek
Biggest Shock - Guz tells Ferraro to get help for his gambling addiction as a way to trap him
Least Surprising - Katori's bag is wiretapped so they can get Ferraro's confession
The "Welcome Back" Award - Alano Miller, last seen dying on Jane the Virgin
Best Quotes -
1. Funkhauser: "What the heck is happening around here? It used to be nice, quiet, a place to raise their kids? Now we're playing whack-a-mole with heroin dealers."
2. Funkhauser: "You know what really interferes with intimacy? Always talking about what interferes with intimacy."
3. Guz: "You caught a bad guy. Just not the right bad guy."
4. Fontanelle: "Is that what I think it is? Is it?" Russ: "It's not cocaine." Fontanelle: "Thank God." Russ: "It's heroin."
5. Fontanelle: "They speak Spanish in Iran?" Milt: "The Spanish teachers do. I went to high school there."
6. Guz: "You're convinced a heroin dealer would never be stupid."

The Returned - 1.02 - Simon

If it's possible I have less of an idea of what's going on now on The Returned than I did with the pilot. The silence is deafening. While I think that the sheer dynamics of loved ones coming back into people's lives after dying 6 years previously makes for interesting character dynamics, the mystery isn't catching my attention at all. It's far too vague and loosely connected for me. Somehow everything is connected to Julie's almost death, which of course is part of a serial killing. The only thing that captures my interest here is how certain the bar owner is that the killer cannot still be around. That means he had to know who it was and either murdered him or saw someone else do it. I'm going with it being a relative and Bar Owner buried him in a shallow grave. Now he's back for revenge. All I do know is that the returned better start talking soon because a least getting us on the path to some answers is necessary at this juncture.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - Rowan
Best Aww Moment - Claire finds Camille, who breaks down in her arms
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - The doctor goes to the police to look at missing children posters and doesn't say she has a kid at her house? Is she nuts? This is totally kidnapping now whether he has parents or not.
Most Mixed Emotions - I felt sorry for Camille because it would suck to wake up and everyone you know be 6 years older while you're still the same. Then I remembered that her crazy was part of the reason why everyone died and I ended up just kind of hmmm about her. She (and the rest of the returned) could very easily be evil.
Best Back Story - Rowan and Simon
Biggest Huh? - Why did Simon not say anything when Rowan touched him? Why are many of the Returned falling silent? I'd have plenty to say if I came back from the dead after 6 years.
Most Annoying - Julie's nosy neighbor
Best Quotes -
1. Claire: "Manage to get some sleep?" Camille: "Not a wink. So I guess you know I'm a zombie." Peter: "You're not a zombie." Camille: "Oh yeah? What am I then?" Peter: "You're a miracle. I was at your funeral. I saw you in the casket and yet somehow, here you are with a second chance at life." Camille: "So all the other kids on the bus died? Then why am I here?" Peter: "That's for you to find out." Camille: "I don't want to be a miracle. I just want my normal life back."
2. Jack: "Where have you been?" Camille: "Why? What's the worst that can happen? I'm already dead."
3. Claire: "You and Hunter weren't that close were you?" Camille: "We were in the same class. Everybody just moved on, forgot about me." Claire: "That is not true."
4. Julie: "Are you afraid of the dark? Guess what? So am I."

Eye Candy - 1.10 - A4U

This may be the truest case of every character going brain dead this year. Seriously, the only people to use any common sense in the entire episode were Sophia and Connor. Other than that, they all did off the chart stupid things with Lindy leading the charge. George wasn't much better so this is the episode in which I liked him the least. His lack of urgency made the plot drag a little and stalled the momentum. Channel your inner Ron Weasley with me. "He needs to get his priorities straight." I half expected that they were going to reveal Yeager as the Cyber Unit mole just because they spent so much time on those two pulling rank. Good thing the creepy back story on Jake made up for their infighting. Speaking of, I'm still not happy that Jake is the killer because there is no overall resonance to it. If the killer had been Tommy, George, Connor, or even Sophia, the impact would have been far greater. However they get big points for ending the Flirtual killer storyline in the first season, especially since they only had 10 episodes. It was smart not to drag it on and make the search for Sarah the big overall mytharc. I'm intrigued by why Sarah felt the need to kidnap herself with Lindy as a witness. That seems extra cruel on her part. She could have had the same effect if she arranged it in front of random strangers. Also what kind of danger could a teenager have gotten into that required such long lengths? Here's hoping there's a season 2 to give us answers.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - one mystery is solved while another begins
Biggest Mystery - Will Eye Candy get a second season? Right now I'm leaning towards no, but I'm no expert on MTV, its ratings, or its threshold.
Best Aww Scene - Connor at Sophia's hospital bed, planning their vacation
The "Curiosity Killed the Cat's Best Friend" Award - Way to put your mystery in front of Sophia and your safety, Lindy. Nice.
Biggest Idiot - If Donnie from Perception hadn't already secured the Worst Plan in the History of Bad TV Plans Award, Lindy would be in the running. Everything thing she did reminded me of that Geico commercial where the kids hide behind the chainsaws instead of flee in the running car. Seriously, her choices were that bad. I can't even pick a stupidest moment among them.
The "Good Day for a Swim" Award - Seriously, it didn't look like the shore was too far away. Trapped on an island with a serial killer or swim? No question.
Smartest Plan / Best Use of Social Media - George sends Jake's picture to all tablets and phones so he can't get away
The "Shut Up" Award - George, stop swooning over technology and getting in a testosterone war with Yeager. I swear it's like you don't even care that Lindy and Sophia are missing. Shut up! Get going!
Biggest Missed Opportunity - Lindy has 2 chances to brain Jake with a shovel and she takes neither one
Biggest Douche? - Sarah clearly orchestrated her own kidnapping. Now the big mystery is why she did.
The "Say What?" Award - How does a child know how to insert an air bubble into someone's veins? This makes no sense.
Least Romantic - taking the woman you're obsessed with to where you murdered your mom and your dad committed suicide
Best Vicarious Thrill - Tommy punches out Jake
The "Shoot First, Dialogue Later" Award - You know how else you could save Sophia, Tommy? You could shoot Jake and then get Sophia to safety 10 seconds later. It doesn't take that long to pull the trigger.
The "Truer Words Have Ne'er Been Spoken" Award - Sophia: "You know this is a really bad idea, right?"
Most Creepy - Jake kissing the mirror and then breaking it
Most Disgusting - leaving a cell phone in a dead girl's hair
Most in Need of a Self-Preservation Gene - Lindy, who obviously doesn't have one since she walks towards the music instead of finding a way out
Most Creepily Enthusiastic - George is way too excited about accessing Cyber Unit given that his best friend is missing with a serial killer
Least Welcome Return - InstaDark. Exactly how long have Lindy and Sophia been walking around this island with no plan, no hiding place, and no escape? Gibbs' slap to both.
Best Quotes -
1. George: "You know how dangerous it is for a person like me to have access to this kind of stuff. It's like giving crack to a baby. It just won't end well."
2. Connor: "Sophia, you're okay. I've got you. You're okay." Sophia: "What took you so long?" Connor: "You know me, always fashionably late. You are not going to die here. I've got you."
3. Jake: "Monsters are made. Pain festers and makes monsters of us all."
4. Tommy: "Stay behind the gun." Connor: "Oh I intend to ."
5. Connor: "We're just going to steal a boat?" Tommy: "Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Connor: "You're the cop."

Supernatural - 10.15 - The Things They Carried

Cole returns and I'm meh. The only really good thing about him coming back is he finally understands what the Winchesters do and why it's important. He may not be an ally now but he isn't an antagonist either. I like that he forgives Dean for killing his dad but I like even more that he goes home to his wife and son instead of becoming a hunter in his own right. He can be a source of info for the Winchesters without being the new Garth. (Although he's 1,000 X better than Garth.) Other than that, it's pretty much a run of the mill case. The continuity is fabulous so it's good to see that someone on the writing staff remembers that season 6 existed. Generally they live in their own fan fiction world where they make junk up and declare it canon. (I still haven't forgiven Jeremy Carver for season 8. I never will.) I like the reference to And Then There Were None. It was the death of Grandpa Creepy so for that I will always love that episode. However it killed off Rufus too so it would have been nice to have some nod to his character, who was gone way too soon. Maybe a toast of Johnny Walker Blue at the end?

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - ear worm continuity
Best Scene - Dean and Sam in the Impala talking about the Mark
The "Oh Please" Award - Sam knows how to tie up people like an expert. Am I supposed to believe that guy just got loose? Then he leaves and no one hears a sound? Bah!
Biggest Aww Moment - Cole tells Dean he understands why Dean killed his father and Dean tells Cole that he has to fighter harder than he ever has before
Biggest Douche - Dean for drinking water in front of Cole
Most Underused - If Cole needed to be dried out, why not use some of that salt the Winchesters always keep on hand?
Least Believable - I love Baby. I really love Baby, but she can't sneak up on anyone. How Cole didn't see/hear her following him is beyond me.
Best Character Interaction - Dean and Cole
Biggest Hmm - Anyone getting the idea that Supernatural was supposed to go to Monday and let The Messengers have the Wednesday slot? They usually don't make days of the week jokes unless it's meta.
Biggest Huh? - How is bleeding skin a symptom of PTSD? That makes no sense to me.
Biggest Idiot - Cole when someone is vomiting on you, close your mouth. Urgh! Common sense, people.
The "I Don't Think So" Award - Cole, you're on level 1 of a thousand level game here. You haven't even come close to seeing it all.
Most Disgusting - Kit licking blood off the gas station floor / mouth worms are even worse than ear worms
The "Welcome Back???" Award (character) - Cole, who I'm not sure if I want to see back or not
Best Quotes -
1. Cole: "So if I dry myself out, the SoB wouldn't like that very much, now would he?" Dean: "No, he'd want the hell out. You'd be a hostile environment. Well, more than you already are." Cole: "Well to be fair, you really haven't seen my chiller side."
2. Dean: "Sam, I know what you're doing over there and it ain't porn. Look man, we have checked every website, okay? We've checked it twice. Sammy when we work a case, there's always that…that point when we have to face the truth, right? Even if we don't like it. Well truth is, there's no way around this. We saw what happened to Cain, okay? I'm not happy about it, but I've got to move on so I'm going to keep doing what we do while I still can and I'd like you to be there with me."
3. Cole: "I appreciate the talk Coach, but honestly, all I can think about is slicing your wrist and drinking you like a fountain. Guess that makes me a monster, don't it?"
4. Cole: "Okay, so you've been to this rodeo before. How do we kill it?" Dean: "Worst case - head shot the person it's in. Worm crawls out. We stomp it like a bug." Cole: "Is there a version where you don't cap me?"
5. Dean: "Hey that was a dumb a** move coming here alone. You know that, right?" Cole: "Well I'm sorry. I should have let the Machete Brothers cut my buddy's head off." Dean: "Well if you did, maybe you wouldn't be chocking down a damn Khan worm."

Perception - 3.15 - Run

Perception did the #1 thing right in their series finale and for that I'll always remember this show fondly. They resisted shipper pressure to put Daniel and Kate together at the end. For once, the leads in a cop show did NOT get together. It's a minor TV miracle and one worth celebrating. Now if only more shows would follow suit. The other good thing about this show is that although it ended more abruptly than the creators hoped, this could be seen as closure. Kate is rescued. The serial killers are dead, thanks to Joe. Donnie and Kate are married. No lead characters are in jail. If you can believe that Perception FBI are as incompetent as The Following FBI, then everyone gets their happy-ish ending and that's about the most that can be expected these days. If you prefer grayer endings, then you can remember that the serial killer was shot and Daniel was seen buying supplies so their explanations probably got shot to hell once forensics became involved. I'm going with happy. So goodbye Daniel and crew. Thank you for 39 episodes of actual information, crime solving, and great characters. Although you were a typical crime procedural, the mental illness and brain-focus made me smarter and entertained me all the while.

Grade: B+ (for NOT hooking up the leads)

Best Shock / Best Reason to Watch - Donnie and Kate get hitched, meaning that for once partners in a crime show do NOT get together romantically
Best Scene - Joe shoots the serial killers
Biggest Hmm - Why did Tasha send that text message pretending to be Kate if they were going to try to convince Donnie that Kate was kidnapped later? Silence is sometimes golden.
Worst Plan in the History of Bad TV Plans - Donnie and Daniel breaking out a serial killer on death row
Biggest Mistake - besides the entire plan of course, taking their eyes off Rosenthal to go find Daniel
Least Surprising - Rosenthal gets away for real
Most Useful - Drexler, even if he was a hallucination
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Natalie
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Thom Barry, formerly Will on Cold Case
Best Quotes -
1. Donnie: "Listen Daniel, I am not sure who or what you saw out there, but we cannot afford to let your paranoia get us off track. It might cost Kate her life. So I don't know what you need to do to get your sh** together, but whatever it is I need you to do it now."
2. Daniel: "You know before when I said I missed you. I was being polite."
3. Donnie: "How you holding up?" Daniel: "My conscious is bothering me but of course I'm used to hearing nagging voices in my head so uh…."
4. Donnie: "How'd you know I was getting married?" Rosenthal: "My lawyer is a big gossip."
5. Kate: "What did you do?" Joe: "They went for my gun. Funny how things work out. Two dead scumbags that were going to be executed anyway. I just saved the taxpayers a lot of dough." Kate: "This isn't right." Joe: "And what is? Me, Donnie, the professor here, we go to prison for saving your life. That happens, you'll be all alone. Honey, I can't stand the thought of that."
6. Daniel: "The tragedy in their lives was you, you sadistic prick."

The Flash - 1.15 - Out of Time

I'm mildly irritated by this episode with a chance to be majorly irritated if next episode undoes all the forward secret progress of this one. After all, it's the only thing the episode got right. I am not okay with next episode being a cosmic do-over. That will make this episode the filler-iest of all fillers and more of a waste of time than this already was. That being said, I will revolt if Cisco is really dead so we're in a Catch-22 situation. Argh! Plus let's face it. Barry and Iris are at the catatonic level of most exciting TV couples so taking up that much time on them was a sure guarantee that the episode pace would jerk along. Then they take stupid to a whole new level. Yes, the perfect time to declare your love and make out is when your father is being held by a madman who is counting down the seconds to kill you too. It's not like you're on the clock or anything. Take your own sweet time. Ugh! I'm not so fond of Linda or Eddie this episode either but kudos for them at least being honest instead of immersing themselves in a self-pity wallow fest. They are both to good for those two anyway. I hope Linda gets a non-Barry (and non-villain) story line soon because Malese Jow is better than this part too. Since the villain of the week was essential the pilot redoux, he didn't bring much to the party either. That left Cisco being suspicious of Wells and dying for it. Yep, that was the only interesting thing in the episode and it's going to get erased next time. Bah! Can't Cisco be suspicious and not die. That's a win-win for me.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - all kinds of secrets are spilled in this episode
Best Scene - Cisco realizes that Wells is the Yellow Flash
Biggest Hmmm - So Barry ran so fast, he ran himself back in time? Is that what we're saying? Yeah, I don't get it.
The "Oh Hell No" Award - Cisco must stay alive until the series finale. Wells better go far sooner than him.
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Barry, you have to save Joe. You don't have time for this relationship junk. Let's go!!!
Biggest Shock - Wells is from the future and related to Eddie
Biggest Hero - Captain knocks Joe out of the way and takes the lightning bolt Mark aimed at him
Most Clever Revenge - creating a personal rain cloud to follow the guy you hate around
The "How Convenient" Award - It's nice they got the killer and his motive on tape. It makes things easier.
The "I Could NOT Care Less" Award - Iris and Barry are like watching paint dry but much less interesting
Least Sense Making - 1. Wells tried to kill Barry but he needs Barry to get back to the future. Hmm. 2. If Wells is so smart, why didn't he take his hologram Yellow Flash self out of the system so Cisco couldn't find it?
Least Stealthy - Caitlin, who would make a terrible spy
Least Likely to Pick Up Social Cues - Barry, who should never made his single date a double date
Most Honest - Eddie tells Iris that he's uncomfortable with her being around Barry. I, on the other hand, have an incessant desire to fast forward when Iris is around Barry. That or sleep.
Best Quotes -
1. Cisco: "What's going on? What do you see?" Barry: "A dead body." Cisco: "Barry, you're in a morgue. You're going to have to be a little more specific than that."
2. Cisco: "I can help you." Wells: "You're smart, Cisco, but you're not that smart. Do you know how hard it has been to keep all of this from you, especially from you? Because the truth is I've grown quite fond of you and in many ways you have shown me what it's like to have a son. Forgive me but to me you've been dead for centuries."
3. Linda: "One thing you learn about people when you work here, Iris. It's usually what isn't said that's the real story."
4. Wells: "Why would anyone want to rob a morgue?"
5. Wells: "Well he's taking being targeted by a revenge-seeking metahuman rather well I must say."

Rizzoli & Isles - 5.17 / 5.18 - Bite Out of Crime / Family Matters

When I first heard they were showing 2 episodes of Rizzoli & Isles, I thought that meant the two episodes were connected and that they would lead to a huge cliffhanger. Instead this was two run-of-the-mill episodes that just happened to air on the same night. Two episodes that quite frankly do not feel like season finales to me. Of the two I liked the first one better. Maura's empathy for McGruff was heartfelt and brought a great emotional connect to the story. Plus there were werewolf and pirate jokes. Can't go wrong there. The finale was far less humorous and therefore less my speed but I did like the continuity of remembering and grieving Frost. I like how they haven't let it slide but made it feel natural within the season. The ending scene of giving Tasha the scholarship was beautiful and sniff-worthy. Still it feels like this season went out with a whimper instead of a bang and I'm not used to that so it threw me off. Here's hoping for a more exciting season next time.

Grade: B / B-

Best Reason to Watch - character banter
Best Scene - Jane breaks down over Frost's robot and Judith tells her that it's going to be alright
Best Awww Scene - Maura tells McGruff that a tumor explains his condition and they found his family / the precinct gives Tasha the Barry Frost Memorial Scholarship
Weirdest Saying Ever - Korsak: "If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. Sociopaths always underestimate the resilience of the werewolf."
The "I Thought It Was Funny" Award - Frankie laughing at Korsak saying pack made me laugh too
Most Interesting Therapy Tool - a cheeseburger
Best Self-Defense - Maura wielding the scalpel
Most Funny - Jane's reaction to NEMO and mine were the same, except I actually spit out the water I just drank all over my tablet
Biggest Douche - Clark, who is the kind of driver that causes and excuses road rage
Weirdest Trend - neither Jane nor Maura can seem to keep a relationship longer than one season
Best Subplot - Jane trying to find things for Maura to do to take her mind off Jack
Most Fun - car karaoke
Least Surprising - the guy had two wives
Weirdest Conversation - Korsak explaining Batman and Superman to Jane
Best Therapist - Angela helping Korsak
Best Music - sax solo on Wonderful World
The "Welcome Back" Award - Anne Dudek of Covert Affairs and House
Best Quotes -
1. Jane: "So in lieu of an actual name, we're calling him McGruff." Maura: "Like the crime dog?" Jane: "Well it's better than Buster or Spot."
2. Maura: "These emoticons don't deserve to be used in such disturbing ways."
3. Jane: "Here's to being an adult. It sucks." Maura: "Yes, it does."
4. Susie: "NEMO is lucky to have you." Jane: "Wait. Nemo?" Maura: "Oh no relation to the vengeful submarine captain with a bitter hatred for British imperialism. Why's everyone looking at me like that?" Angela: "Well Nemo's the little striped clown fish." Jane: "With the tiny, tiny fin." Maura: "Jack, tell me I'm not alone." Jack: "I might have read it in high school."
5. Jane: "Okay, when did our crime scene become an improv class?"

Empire - 1.11 / 1.12 - Die But Once / Who I Am

Lucious is in jail. Woo hoo! He's not staying there nor dying. Darn. But it does make for a much more soap opera-licious story with him in it and who really thought he'd be gone anyway. Thus ends the first season of the first show in decades to climb every week in number of viewers. It only went down once in demo, which hit as high as a 6.9. That's unheard of and it's guaranteed to launch a thousand other melodramas in the upcoming seasons. To say this show is a hit is an understatement. I have more mixed feelings. I dislike the lead characters so much I hope they kill each other off, but I also know that their poisonous relationship is also why the show is as big as it is. They have undeniable chemistry together that sizzles whether they are tossing each other looks or trying to kill each other off. Their sons are uniquely messed up and I feel like season 2 is going to be all about the corruption of Jamal, the only main character that is in any way likeable. Welcome to Lucious Junior. Take cover now. I am far more interested in the hostile take-over than in the Vernon death plot. That was unnecessary and again this show tends to go over the top to give itself more mass appeal. While I would like to see it tone down a bit, that is never going to happen and eventually this mega hit will fall under the weight of all its juicy plot points. But like Lucious Lyon's downfall, that will be a long time coming.

Grade: B / B-

Best Reason to Watch - Lucious is locked up and a hostile takeover is imminent
Biggest 180 - Jamal becomes the bad guy in about 5 minutes of power
Least Trustworthy - I don't trust one syllable that comes from this new Lucious' mouth
Most Shocking - Jamal holds Beretti over a balcony to get him to sign the masters back over to Lucious
Best Duet - Lucious and Jamal
Most in Need of Jail - Lucious and Cookie, who both are evil
Biggest Screw You - Hakeem disses Lucious at the big debut
Biggest Blabbermouth - Lucious' nurse spills about his ALS in Becky's hearing / Porsha spills about Cookie and Malcolm to Lucious
Biggest Hmm - This is a strange time for Cookie to go on vacation. She wants to do the tribute album and two of her boys are having huge weeks.
Boldest Move - Hakeem threatens to go to another label and sleeps with Anika
Most Vindictive - Lucious kicks Cookie out of the company after sleeping with Malcolm
Worst News - Lucious is NOT dying
Best Guest Star - Patti LaBelle
Biggest Cliffhanger - Rhonda kills Vernon in self-defense
Best Quotes -
1. Jamal: "I wouldn't believe everything that you read. I saw that you were a devoted husband and father."
2. Lucious: "So y'all think y'all got a plan, huh? Think again."
3. Malcolm: "Camilla, she didn't take Lucious' money." Cookie: "What?" Malcolm: "What? Did he tell you she did?" Cookie: "Oh God, I wish he would just drop dead already. Then we could make it a memorial concert. Jack up the ticket prices really high."
4. Lucious: "You see son, sometimes you have to be willing to sacrifice your queen to win the game."
5. Andre: "There was always something missing dad. A void that I filled with darkness. But now I'm getting to know my God and He is filling that void with a higher purpose." Lucious: "God?' Andre: "God." Lucious: "What do you know about God? There's no higher purpose than being a maker of music. That's the voice of God."
6. Lucious: "Checkmate, b**."

Allegiance - 1.07 - Stranger in a Strange Land

I really did not need to see Alex and Michelle hooking up but now I think she's the other mole. No way everyone else is on the level and I really hope that it is not Sam, who is this episode's MVP. Not only did he get the best lines like usual, but he also got the only real action that didn't star two people dead by the end of the episode. Sam is awesome! Alex, not so much. They need to stop involving Alex in their missions because he inevitably goes off the deep end and screws things up. Was anyone surprised that he dropped the blue pill? He also makes a terrible liar and looks as guilty as he feels half the time. They need a new plan because if the safety of America is in Alex's hands, we are in very big trouble.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - there's a new player in town
Best Action / MVP - Sam and his taking out of the guards and then escaping
Best Reason to Fast Forward - Alex and Michelle hooking up
Biggest Hmm - Why didn't the restaurant guys call the cops on Alex. He has a gun and blood on his hands. Do they not think that's a problem in Italy?
Most Awkward - Alex, always
Most Smooth - Sam dumping the drug in Endo's tea
Least Helpful - Mark and Katya on the phone with Alex, who's an ocean away
The "You're Aiming Too High" Award - Victor, Alex can't even tie his own tie so thinking he can run a covert mission on his own is asking way too much
Best Plan - Victor has a flee alternative at the ready
Best Quotes -
1. Sam: "Well it's good to be king." Endo: "Better to be king maker."
2. Sam: "There's nothing to do until Endo calls. Now I feel like I have an ice pick in my eye, so if you don't stop talking and go away, they'll be putting up a star for you at Langley."
3. Alex: "What's Black Dagger?" Victor: "Black Digger? It's a nuclear accident. It's an Ebola outbreak. It's a cyber virus that knocks out the power grid for a month or cuts off fresh water to the East Coast. It's the thing that can't be traced back to Russia that makes the neighborhood kids afraid to go outside."
4. Sam: "Okay we go at 9 am so easy on the mini bar tonight. I'm looking at you, Rain Man." Alex: "I don't drink alcohol." Sam: "Holy balls, Alex. Recognize when someone's yanking you. Now get the hell out of my room. Go."

CSI: Cyber - 1.03 - Killer En Route

I'm beginning to suspect that instead of torture porn or gore porn, CSI: Cyber is trying to hook viewers by making us all afraid of our technology. It's the Terminator effect. This time around we should fear the app. That might work for some people but all I got out of this episode was to fear the stupid. If you use an app to get into someone's car you don't know and they are not registered by the state with a cabbie's license, you're taking your life into your own hands. I wouldn't give some random person my address or let them know where I work. Why would I do that via an app? It's Safety 101. I think I'll stick with fearing the roller coasters and baby monitors from the first 2 episodes.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - technology is scary
Best Back Story - Krumitz
The "Say What?" Award - Do people actually get into cars with people they don't know? That seems sketchy at best and downright moronic at worst.
Least Comforting - Saying someone is Batman is not a compliment. The man was a psycho, revenge-fueled killer. How's that supposed to make up for losing parents?
Biggest Hmm - I'm no expert but I used to watch Bones. A body outside for 3 days should have had more insects, more decay, and definitely more rigor mortis.
Best Reaction - Raven to getting to use her hacking skills again
Biggest Idiot - victim unlocked the door but didn't try to open it when he did and he didn't use the lock that he was next to/ people getting out of their cars in a shootout instead of getting down
Least Surprising - Mundo hops the banister to catch the bad guy
Most Surprising - the killer is targeting ZoGo riders instead of drivers or management
Best Quotes -
1. Nelson: "You jump onto moving trains, you kick down doors, and you know computer forensics. You're like a bad a** Bill Gates, just younger." Mundo: "And not as rich."
2. Nelson: "I use ZoGo all the time. It's cheaper than a cab. Look, pay right on your phone. Get in, get out. Tip's included in the price." Mundo: "Is murder extra?"
3. Nelson: "You pulling another all-nighter?" Raven: "It wasn't an all-nighter. It was a date." Nelson: "Umm, a date that lasted until 6 in the morning." Raven: "It was a good date."
4. Simon: "This technology may have made life easier but it sure has not made it safer."
5. Nelson: "I'm sorry man. You know Batman lost his parents too. You're Batman, Krumitz. You're Batman." Mundo: "Does that make you Robin?"

Grimm - 4.14 - Bad Luck

Ugh, just ugh. Adalind is now #1 on my Characters that Need to Go list. Not only has she been pointless since Nick took away her powers, but she's directly linked to the most inane, stupid, or boring storylines Grimm has ever done. Love potion spells and obsession - yep that's Adalind. Freaking amnesia - also Adalind. Walking around pointlessly in Dreamland Castle for an entire freaking episode - yep, Adalind again. For all that I rail about how insignificant Juliette has been, Adalind is worse because they have to keep trying to make her relevant and it always leads to the most fast forwardable moments. She needs to go. Like 3 seasons ago. Writing in the actress' pregnancy is utterly inane. Just get rid of this character. If you want to bore us later with her, then feel free to send her back to Vienna for a season until the actress has delivered. Just get her off my screen now! She's turning this show into a bad episode of Maury Povitch and bringing down the entire show with her. I've never wanted a TV miscarriage more in my life.

Grade: C

Best Reason to Watch - at least there are no more secrets
Best Reason to Stock Up on the World's Supply of Brain Bleach - Adalind's pregnancy. For the love of the show, why can't they just kill her off? This is beyond stupid. Adalind should have died when Nick took her powers.
Best Scene - Monroe is suitably impressed by Rosalee knocking out the evil receptionist
Best Reaction - Wu to hearing about the severed rabbit foot sex ritual
Biggest Hmm - So the Accordion Wesen killed Rabbit Wesen for a lucky rabbit's foot? Is that where this is leading?
Biggest Huh? - What about Nick would make Juliette think he would kill her? What about Nick would make her think he even could? A teenage girl took down the Wesen this week.
Most Brave - Rabbit Sister refuses to woge
Least Surprising - Rabbit Sister is kidnapped from the motel
Most Sympatico - Adalind and I are both shrieking, "Noooooooooo!"at the end of the episode, although she's probably not throwing socks like I was
The "Are You Kidding Me?" Award - Rabbit Wesen's name is Peter
The "Who Isn't These Days?" Award - Nick tells Hank that the victim's mother is Wesen. I yawn. They're all Wesen in Portland. The real surprise will be when Nick confirms someone's human.
Biggest Canon Breaker - How convenient that Nick can't take away Juliette's hexenbiest powers like he did Adalind's through a Wesen loophole. It's almost as convenient as the new lore which says made hexenbiests are more powerful than born ones because that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Best Quotes -
1. Nick: "The killer take the foot with him?" Wu: "Hell of a foot fetish."
2. Nick: "Then maybe the car accident that Peter's father died in wasn't an accident. See what you can find out." Wu: "I'll hop right on it. I tried to stop myself before I said it. Sorry."
3. Adalind (and me): "Nooooooooo!"
4. Juliette: "You can't even look at me. This is what's forever."
5. Wu: "They leave a severed foot under the bed for 3 days?" Hank: "That's what it says." Wu: "Uh, does anybody else think it's messed up."
6. Fran: "I'm not involved in murder." Hank: "No one ever is."

The Musketeers - 2.09 - The Accused

So the moral of this season is adultery is evil, tertiary characters I like will die, and for goodness sake Treville, if the king offers you a position, take it! At least that's what I'm taking away from it. While Rochefort grows increasingly insane, the plot intensifies on all parts. Of course most if not all of our main characters will survive, including D'Artagnan and Constance. Sigh. Still it is fun to see their predicaments go from bad to worse as they make increasingly terrible choices. Well besides sleeping with the queen and getting her pregnant in the first place, of course. That was disastrous and Aramis' inability to keep it in his pants is the root of almost every problem they have. I've heard rumors that one of the Musketeers is leaving us, and right now story wise it would make sense for Aramis to go. After all, the king can't readily accept him in the palace once rumors of his fathering the dauphin start. Still it wouldn't be the first time an illegitimate heir sat on the throne so there may be hope for Queen Anne. Regardless it looks like the season finale is going to be intense and action-filled and that's all I really need. Surely it won't disappoint like every characters' morals and the much anticipated fight between Catherine and Milady did. I really expected that fight to be epic. At least they both lived to hopefully really fight another day. In the end, this episode was a great set-up for the season finale with all the pieces sufficiently in dire straits or at least going full on nuts. Exactly what a penultimate episode should do.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - sets up what should be a very climactic season finale
Best Character Interaction - Athos and Milady / Aramis and Porthos
Best Surprise - the nun forges Rochefort's signature
Biggest Mistake - making Milady an enemy
Least Surprising - the doctor dies / almost everyone ends up behind bars
Most Disappointing - the Catherine vs. Milady showdown was anticlimactic
The "Keep It in Your Pants" Award - All Musketeers need to stop sleeping around. Period. But especially with married women.
Most Nuts - Rochefort is even more crazy than Cardinal Richelieu was
Most Forgiving - King Louis
Biggest Hypocrite - D'Artagnan
The "Welcome Back" Award - Catherine
Best Quotes -
1. Athos: "If Rochefort's advances towards the queen are treason, what does that make yours?" Aramis: "Love." Athos: "I'm sure the king will appreciate the difference."
2. Louis: "I like this. It's very piratical. It was a hunting accident, you say." Rochefort: "My quarry fought harder than I expected."
3. Milady: "I'm growing tired of people trying to hang me. Why are you angry with me? I'm the one who nearly died."
4. Treville: "Sister, I could kiss you." Sister Teresa: "Best not, perhaps."
5. Milady: "My God, does she never stop talking? Shoot her and let's be on our way. It's just a thought."

About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for The 100, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
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